Being independent problem
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Being independent problem
| Sat, 10-20-2007 - 10:02pm |
Hello.
I hope someone can give me some good advice for me. I know this sounds helpless or even stupid to some people, but I found difficulty to be independent to be

It sounds like this reltionship is not working for you.
Welcome to the board yokotakano.
In addition to the different expectations in how you spend your time together as a couple, I would also suggest there might be an incompatibility - he wants to see you in the afternoon and then go with his friends at night - he's not including you.
We
To be brutally honest here, ANY relationship can get through the first few months if you have even the most basic attraction to one another. You're not riding on any "real" emotions or connection. You get tested a little bit but you're still not getting the full package. If things get really bad after the honeymoon wears off, that's not a good sign. A couple that is right for one another will have built up an intense love and caring for one another, and a realization that they are fundamentally compatible. Couples with a lot of differences can get along very well in the early stages of a relationship because difference makes things more exciting, and creates more carnal attraction. But it's the people who want to work for the same values, beliefs, and goals together that will ultimately make it. Also, two people can have vastly different exteriors but still at their very cores be compatible and similar. This kind of stuff is not usually seen by an observer. It's usually personified by the way they interact in private.
If he really doesn't want to talk to you because he thinks you have nothing in common, I can't for the life of me understand why he's with you at all. You sound like a very good communicator trying to talk to a wall. You could be the world's best orator, but in the end, you're still talking to a wall.
He's either realizing he's NOT compatible with you after all, or he's fighting off the end of the honeymoon period. Normally if the latter is the case, it doesn't take this long for him to settle down into the next phase of the relationship. At this point, if I were you, I might take his concerns about compatibility seriously.
If you have communicated what you want and need from this relationship and he flat out says he can't give it to you, then it's time for it to be over.
I wasn't trying to make the point that he