from best friends to...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
from best friends to...
5
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:42pm
ok, well...

im a full time college student. upon my arrival at school this year i met a great guy. immediately we hit it off and began hanging out. over the past 7 months we got closer and closer. last month our calls were becoming more then daily but practically hourly. we were hanging out a lot and just loved being in each other's company. well a week ago we were laying in bed watching a movie, not uncommon for us. the movie went off and he hit the lights and implied he was staying over. as it got later and our conversation became more in depth, he leaned in and kissed me. he told me he had wanted to do that for the longest time and that i made him happy. he swore to me that i was this unbelievable person, the only one who has made him feel this way in a long, long time, and that he would never hurt me. well a week went by and things were great. we slept together every night, had long, romantic talks, all with him confessing these feelings for me that i never imagined a guy would have. it was all pretty much fairy tale like and i had never ever expected something so wonderful to happen to me. anyway, the past two days have been weird. he has not been himself, calling all the time, kissing me, coming over before work just to kiss me. tonight will be the first night we wont sleep together because he has to study... any other night he would study and then come to my bed...i dont understand it. he swore he would never hurt me and he acts like we are "together" awlays joking how lucky i am to have him and how he would never cheat or mess around behind his gf's back. clearly i am not his gf, but i am so much more then a random hook up. well i am so confused. he started this wonderful feeling, this spark that i cannot put out. and now i am left here wondering if maybe this was all a mistake!!! please please help me!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:57pm
It sounds as if the "newness" is wearing off for him, the gotta get all you can, spend all my extra time with you.

It's hard to say what he's thinking. Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 5:25pm

It sounds like this guy genuinly cares for you, which with that said, i can understand why u are feeling in the dark about things..You said that he was studying tonight, does he go to school or something where he has a test?If thats the case, he may be overwhelmed- either about that or something else, and feels withdrawn right now.


It sounds like if nothing else, whatever is going on between you guys...you at least have a solid friendship going, and should feel comfortable asking him where this is all going.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 1:53pm
thanks for the advice... im still lost because some days he is so sweet and others he just acts like we are barely friends. im lost within this hwole things and it hurts. think i should just stop the intimacy? or should i confront him about everything firts???
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 3:15pm
Before you decide whether or not to confront him, write out everything you think you want to say to him, burn it and rewrite it again. Then seriously think about the kind of response you hope to get from him. He will either deny, talk you out of, manipulate you, or agree with you. Closure is something you give yourself. You have to do what you have to do for self-preservation, not matter what his feelings and thoughts are on the subject.

But yes, stop the intimacy. It means more to you emotionally than it does to him.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 6:18am
I hate to say this, but just like that spark he started in you, a lot of guys can swtich themselves on and off like a light switch. I am 32 yrs old and have seen it so many times with my relationships prior to being married and with my other friends who are not married yet. If he seems disinterested, go with your gut feeling. Don't smother him.

If he sees that you are not bothered by his detachment, it may bring him closer.

Also, keep in mind, he is VERY young if you guys are in college!

You are going to meet MANY more men before settling down.

Hang in there....you can't make someone love you.

But, you can hope that you will find someone someday that does love you back just as much.......and you will.