Best Guy Friend Troubles...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Best Guy Friend Troubles...
2
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 3:24pm
HI Everyone

This would be my first post so here it goes...

My best guy friend and I have been really good friends for about 4 years now. I think there has always been a little bit of sexual tention between us. At least from my part, and i think from his too. But we both have always either been interested or dating someone else. ANyways, Last Friday we were all hanging out, and needless to say we all had a couple of drinks in us. And some how me and him ended up a little closer than we both expected we would. So the next night he calls me and we're both really nervous, and things are a little awkward. And he just plainly comes out saying..."I had fun the other night, and i hope you did too. And maybe we could work someday in the future but just not now."

SO here's my problem. Half of me is dissapointed. But the other half is relieved. I wouldn't want to loose him if we were ever to break up, but the fact that he said that to me, kinda "hurts my feelings?" Like i'm not good enough for him. SO part of my wants him, i want to show him that i am good enough for him, and that i could make him so happy.

But the other part knows i could be a lot happier with somebody else. He doesn't mean it i'm sure, but he can be very inconsiderate sometimes.

I don't know if i should tell him that i want him....because maybe i don't know if i want him yet myself.

Sorry if all this was confusing, but is there anybody out there that kind of know what i'm trying to say here?

I don't know how to react to him any more

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 5:10pm
Rachel...

You sound like a very nice, level-headed, lady to Pianoguy. Know why?

Because you realized the man you've known for 4 years is just supposed to be YOUR VERY GOOD FRIEND right now. While anything could've happened after a few drinks...the two of you must have sensed that 'exploring the sexual possibilities' could possibly have damaged the friendship you've shared together.

No question about it. There's always an element of "excitement" when it comes to wondering how you both would respond to each other...but...there's also a risk! SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING (to quote Teri Garr in the movie: "Tootsie").

And right now...that "change" isn't in the wind when it comes to you both 'coupling together!'

Stick with your friendship. If something more serious is supposed to happen...both of you will realize it.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 5:38pm
I think you need to realize that this is all about your ego....that is what got hurt a bit when he said he didn't want anything right now. It has nothing to do with you really wanting to be with him, and you even admitted that both of you would do a lot better with other people. You feel the same way about him don't you? You liked it, but you don't really want to be with him- so get your ego in check and just go back to being platonic friends.