betrayed: Husband cheated on me with men
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betrayed: Husband cheated on me with men
| Sat, 05-08-2004 - 10:25am |
Hi Everyone,
I recently found out my husband of five months cheated on me with men. He denies being gay. He says he is absolutely into women and that it was just a fantasy that he wanted to try. I don't know what to think. We are seeing a counsellor who assures us that most people would fall somewhere in the middle as far as orientation goes. I don't know what is worse, that he cheated on me with men or that he committed adultery. Once a cheater, always a cheater?? And is he gay?
I recently found out my husband of five months cheated on me with men. He denies being gay. He says he is absolutely into women and that it was just a fantasy that he wanted to try. I don't know what to think. We are seeing a counsellor who assures us that most people would fall somewhere in the middle as far as orientation goes. I don't know what is worse, that he cheated on me with men or that he committed adultery. Once a cheater, always a cheater?? And is he gay?
I should also mention that he said there was no kissing or intimate exchanges...that he couldn't do that because that, in his mind, meant cheating. Also, had it been a woman, that would have been cheating. He also said that he never ever had a relationship and never saw him again. He recognizes that he actions were still cheating and has cried alot, begging me to stay so at least there is remorse. He said all the usual things, you are the love of my life, I have never loved anyone the way I loved you....blah blah blah

I cannot even imagine what you are going through. But I think I should say this, the man is definitely not straight. Now if he's full blown gay, I dont think anyone can answer that but him. How did you find out he cheated, and more importantly, with a man? Are you 100% sure this was his only contact with a man? We all fall somewhere in between being straight and being curious about the other sex, but there is a BIG difference from people who are curious, to the people who actually do it. I think that he needs to get some counseling on his own and figure out why he is so intrigued with men, intrigued enough to go outside of his marriage to sleep with one. Also the most important thing here is to find out if he enjoyed his moment of passion with this man. He might tell you that he was curious but did he enjoy that piece of forbidden fruit, or did he spit it out? Please understand that although I, personally, have not been in this situation, there is someone out there who has. You are not alone and can get through this.