better to lie and let him get away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
better to lie and let him get away?
2
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 4:57pm
I recently found out that the guy Ive been seeing for the past few months already had a longterm girlfriend out of state. I found out through a slip-up he made on one of the emails he forwarded me. I contacted the girl to make sure my intuitions were right, and she told me she had always believed him to be monogamous(but I had been sleeping with him). She confronted him about it and he denied the whole thing. She and I spoke, and she told me she believes me. The issue is that I found out from her that he had recently come out of jail for drug charges and he used to be an addict(all of this he had cleverly hidden from me). He has called me to curse at me at which point I hung up on him. I am scared that he might do something to me in the future, and am pondering the thought of denying the whole affair and telling the girl I lied about it. I feel like as long as she doesnt believe him, he is not going to stop harassing me. What is the best thing to do in this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 5:17pm
Wouldn't you want this girl to tell you the truth if you were in her position? It's the hard decision, but honesty is usually the better policy, besides which, what makes you think she'd believe you once you'd changed your story, anyway?

If he call and threatens - threaten him with the police, and get a restraining order. Sounds like you found about some very important things before you got in too deep - be thankful for a lucky escape, but do try and do the right thing - why don't you share your concerns with the other girl? It sounds as though she's been reasonable up to now?

Good luck.

Peace - Pebbles

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 5:27pm
I agree with Pebbles. If he threatens you, tell him: Stop calling me, contacting me, talking to me, don't write me, email or I will file for a restraining order. If need be change your number and locks.


Carrie