BF always lying about dumb things?
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BF always lying about dumb things?
| Thu, 11-08-2007 - 9:06pm |
Okay here is my situation now. My bf is always slying to me about little things. He said once that the reason why he lies is because he is afraid I will get really mad. But he alwys lied about stupid little thigns, and I am afraid that if he lies over dumb things that he will keep lying about bigger things. The reason why I get so angry is because I feel like if I don’t get angry and just be calm and ignore him that he will think that he can continue to lie and get away with it. But than again I feel like if I do get really angry that that will push him to lie more and he wont care and think she thinks I lie anyways so I mine as well do it. I don’t know what to do about this problem were facing. He lies about dumb little things when I ask him. For example its so dumb like when he comes home sometimes he smells like cigeretts and I ask him if he has smoke he says no I swear it was the other guys at work. Really dumb excuses that is were I get even more mad. I don’t know why he makes up little dumbe excuses its like the way a kid lies to his mother to get away from stuff. He is 22 and I am 27. I know that is a big gap between but I don’t understand I honestly think that I know he is young but I mean come on its not like hes 16yrs old either you know.and the worst part is that he always gets caught by me and I wil give him a chance and ask him nicely to see if he will admit to it he says no id ont know what your talking about. Than I have the proof and show it too him and he says dumb things even than and says no I don’t know etec etc. Anyways its really getting to me I don’t know what to do? If I should continue to get mad or not ?? Any suggestions? and like my recent lie that i found out is that fore lunch he brought a friend and that is okay but he never told me, and i found out from his friend that he was telling him to be quiet when he called me for his lunch. LIke letting his friend knnow oh i dont want her to know. I dont know but i thought that was so sneaky, even though when i brought it to his attention he did admit and said yes. But i think that was just because i told him his frien dtold me so he had no choice he got caught. you know what i mean?? i dontknow that was sneaky not teling me and he said he did nto remeber .. but i dont buy that how can he not if he told him to be quiet when he called me? he said that he said that because he is too lound.. i dont know what to do. I love him so much and we have a son together andits hard to leave him how should i deal with this. Does that seem like a bad lie? I dont belive him its to obvious for me.

"The reason why I get so angry is because I feel like if I don’t get angry and just be calm and ignore him that he will think that he can continue to lie and get away with it."
The truth is, getting angry doesn't do anything. Whether you're angry or calm, you're still tolerating his lies, the difference is that being angry only punishes yourself.
The only way to effectively deal with an ongoing problem of lying is to say, "no more lies, or I leave." And then when he lies again, leave. I assume you've already talked to him and told him it hurts you when he lies. The next step is deciding whether or not you want to live with a liar.
I agree with Eggbert, and have anoher suggestion as well: stop putting him in situations in which he feels that he needs to lie.