bf making me feel guilty
Find a Conversation
bf making me feel guilty
| Tue, 06-15-2004 - 1:42pm |
At this moment my relationship with my bf of 8 months is in serious trouble. It all started a couple days ago when he told me that he has stuf on his mind that he had to sort out. He said he'd let me know what's going on. I gave him time and space to sort things out. When he seemed to be taking alot of time to sort it out I asked him about it last night. Then he told me that he figured things out. So I asked him what was going on with him. He told me that he thought our relationship was on pause and was stagnant. He said it was because I wasn't willing to try new things. He meant that with respect to sex. We have only been active for about 2 months now and prior to that I was a virgin. He was not. Then in the conversation he proceeded to outline all the issues he had with me. He said i'm too laid back and not aggressive enough. He knows that i'm a shy person by nature. He is more aggresive and doesn't understand how i can not be like him. This is news to me because I thought that he had accepted me for who I am. He said he loves me and I thought part of loving someone is loving them for who they are. He outlines all these expectations he has of me, things that he thinks I need to change about myself. There was one case where earlier in the relationship he said I should try to be more expressive and I made a conscious effort to do so. I was really hurt last night when he told me that he hasn't seen evidence of that. All the time I was proud that I had been making progress. It was like I didn't know the person I was talking to. Then I remembered something that happened the day after he told me he had stuff on his mind. He was introducing me to a friend and he said another girl's name. He denies it but I know what I heard. Then later I find out from someone else that he and this girl were playing pool earlier in the week. He didn't tell me that. This girl is supposed to be his friend. He seems to be hiding something. I think something happened between them. I think that he's guilty of something and he is trying to make me guilty in order to justify his actions. I'm hurting now and I don't know what to do. It seems like we're heading for a break up. I'm not going to break up with him, he'll have to do it and have to live with his decision and the guilt involved. I need people's opinion on this.

However, I wonder about this part of your post:
I'm not going to break up with him, he'll have to do it and have to live with his decision and the guilt involved.
Hon, if he's already seeing her as more than a friend, guess what? He's not feeling guilty at all, nor will he break up with you (at least not for awhile) why would he, when he can have you both?
Carrie
Honey save yourself a lot of heartache and move on. good luck