BF wants X fiance to move in w/us
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 01-13-2004 - 2:01pm |
My BF, after a disagreement, called his EX fiance ( who is dying to see me out of the picture) to ask her if she would stay in our apartment while I am in the hospital getting surgery for 4 days.
He said he did it out of anger,but then also claiming that he didnt want to leave the apt alone while he was away for a residency and while I was in the hospital.
We have TONS AND TONS of people who would watch our apt, but he actually CALLED her and she said yes! NOW WHAT?!? I dont want this woman in my house.. sleeping in my bed!
What should I be angry about here.. the fact he called her? the fact he is ignoring my feelings about her and her constant invasion into our relationship that has now come to the point that she will be in my home while I am in the hospital?
Advice .. PLEASE!!!!!!!

Pages
So, is he going to invite hie ex over after every disagreement with you, just to make you angry?
What floors me even more than his behavior is what keeps you wanting to be with someone that clearly has no respect for you. He could have anyone else to watch the apt, whatever excuse you think that is, but he choose her.And for immature reason I may add. This will always continue, will always be his low blow to you when things get rough, untill you draw the line.
If he had any respect or desire to keep the relationship, he would call his ex immediatly and tell her its a no-go, and apologize to her for using her aganst you, and to you for disrespecting you, your love and the relationship. If an apology isnt offered by him ( at the least) and somethig done to try to mend what he has broken, I would leave.
Good luck,
But as everyone here has brought up.. it's not enough. I dont feel better after that phone call. It doesnt make a difference because his intentions were to hurt me, plain and simple. Will he do this again? Of course he will. Once you do something, you can't ever take it back.
As stated, this has made me think alot about things... I have done enough to make him happy... I am about to move out. *scary*
Thanks again... This board really made a difference today for me.
I would suspect that while you say that she wants you out of the picture, that he still has feelings for her that he hasn't resolved - and that's why he maintains contact with her and vice versa. If it were truly over between them - then the TONS and TONS of people that you two know would be asked to watch your apartment.
At this point - which I can't believe that you haven't done so far - is to tell him that under no circumstances will she ever stay at your apartment. Tell me that you have made other arrangements and that you don't need her. Explain to him how hurt, disrespected you feel as a result of his actions. Flip the script and ask him how would he feel if it were you asking your ex to stay at your apartment - perhaps he will change his tune then.
I wish you luck with your surgery and this situation...
congrats for putting your foot down. I guess by now Mr. boyfriend realized that he cannot have his way. It seems to me that for the next few days you should do some serious thinking, but you should also have your welfare as a priority. have your surgery, recover, and get well. *Then*, decide whether and when to move out. The bottomline is, relationhips have their ups and downs; everybody screws up, and, if it is only occasional, everyone desevres a second, maybe third chance. But if the relationship is making you unhappy and frustraded most of the time, and your BF refuses to deal with issues and problems, then the time has come to call it quits, IMHO.
I hope you have relatives and friends to support you during that time, coz your BF sure ain't supportive...
Hugs!!
Louise
Pages