A big mess-is there any hope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
A big mess-is there any hope?
6
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 1:29pm

Hi all,


My bf and I have been together for 3.5 years. We broke up (he broke up with me)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 2:09pm

Welcome to the board wind1valley,


Rebuilding trust takes time and healing the betrayal takes time and effort for both of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 3:56pm

I dont believe he'd consider counseling. It's just hard because some days he is great; loving,caring etc and the next he can go to utter indifference when it comes to our relationship. The indifference is what worries me, as they say, the opposite of love isnt hate, it's indifference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 8:24pm

Well, you did lie to him, even if you think it was "partly" the truth. And really, it's not right for you to keep the number of a guy you've hooked up with. You knew it would make your boyfriend upset. That's why you lied.

But the damage is done. I think you should ask your boyfriend if he thinks he can realistically forgive you and move on from this. If the answer, after six weeks, is "no" then maybe you shouldn't be together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:53am

I dont think 6 weeks is that long of a time...I cant really expect him to forgive me in that amount of time and just act as if nothing happened. I dont really know how long to give him on this b/c it breaks my heart when we fight about it. We havent fought about the situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:53am
Have you erased the other's number from your phone? Have you told your b/f that you would not have contact with the other guy? Those are the first steps to rebuilding trust. There is nothing you can really say to rebuild the trust only your actions.
LG
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 11:33am

If I'm not mistaken, you've had honesty issues in the past