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| Sat, 10-02-2004 - 4:57pm |
weeks ago i asked for some advice... now my relationship is going well and i thank you for your advice... now i need to determine if my reationship is worth saving..... i need your help. i found out that my boyfriend has been seeing his ex-girlfriend and they also hung out the weekend of his birthday. she baked him cookies and bought him clothes and made something weird for him. he told me that his "friend" gave him all that. well it was obvious who because a "friend" wouldn't just give so many things to one person. well i haven't told him anything because i am trying decide if i t want to be with someone that will say his "friend" and not tell me the truth. i am very understanding and i won't get mad if he were to tell me who gave it to him. the way i found out was because i saw the card she gave him for his b-day. they have also been talking alot lately. what should i do? i have been with him for 1yr. it was on his bed along with the stuff i had given him for his b-day too. he does show me affection like i said before. but i don't think that his heart belongs to me. i told him before that i don't want him to fell obligated to be with me if he has someone else in his mind. he told me im imagining things, i know im not though. i just need some advice that way i know where to go form there and if im not over reacting.
oh p.s.
i read a text that he send her that said how could you hurt someone that loves you so much. and if you ever decide to come back you know i'll be here. it was a little more deep than this but you get the idea. this was 4 months ago.
oh p.s.
i read a text that he send her that said how could you hurt someone that loves you so much. and if you ever decide to come back you know i'll be here. it was a little more deep than this but you get the idea. this was 4 months ago.

For a moment there I thought this could have been a message written by my brothers' current girlfriend. My brothers' ex-girlfriend is still in love with him... I know it, he knows it and so does anyone that knows them. She is very obvious about the way she feels about him and was devastated when he broke it off with her. His new girlfriend found out very recently that the ex (hope I'm not confusing you) gave him some very expensive clothes and a leather jacket to boot for his birthday. At the time he asked me if I would just say that I got the clothes for him so he could start wearing them. He didn't want the current girlfriend to find out. Anyhow, she did find out because he didn't destroy the card that the ex sent him. My brother clearly does not want to go back to his ex, he very much loves his current girlfriend but when he tells the ex not to buy him anything she still does and makes him desserts and brings them over to his house when she knows his girlfriend won't be there. I don't agree with what she's doing but no one can stop her. He has asked her to stop and she will still bring things over and put them on the front porch of his house. Anyhow, I was going to say that she might want him back but that doesn't mean he wants her as he's still with you.... the last paragraph regarding the text message he sent her would make me wonder though.... this sounds to me that he is willing to possibly take her back if maybe she would change in some way? I don't know, I was with you (positively) until that last paragraph. Confront him and tell him to lay it on the line, it's either her or you. I wouldn't want to wonder forever if when he's with me if he's thinking about her... that's a deal breaker. Good luck. Lucy
All I can add is that you obviously (and rightly so) do not like your boyfriend communcating with his ex. He probably continues to do so because you haven't been firm with him. How would he like it if you were 'just friends' with one of your exes? I bet he would have a fit! Tell him that it's either her or you... If he chooses her than you were better off because this meant that he had no intentions of not seeing her. If he chooses you, all the better and maybe this is what he needs as a wakeup call that you are done being sympatheic to his friendship with his exes. I know it's hard, my situation wasn't like yours but I did find myself asking mine to make a choice and even as he chose the other over me, I have found that now I don't have to be miserable knowing that I wasn't happy with what he was doing and I can move on and hopefully someday find someone that is going to think that I am enough for him. I do wish you the very best of luck and feel free to write me directly via my profile. I can even ask my brother if he has any advise for you! SMILE... Lucy
So my guess is that she was with him for this exchange of shirts. And if she's 'just a friend' there would be no need to hide any of this from you.
I'd tell him, I know that x, x and x were gifts from your ex-girlfriend and you say you think of her as only a friend, but if she's just a friend how come I haven't met her. If he gives and excuse, tell him, "I don't share well. When you are really done with her, call me I might be available and then again, I might not. And walk. Be done.
Carrie