Boyfriend About to Choose His Daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Boyfriend About to Choose His Daughter
6
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 8:03am

Hi everyone,


I have already posted this on Making a Second Marriage Work board. I'm not sure which board it properly belongs to, so please feel free to redirect me to a more appropriate

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 10:18am

Be glad that you've only been with him for three months.

He's not trying to win his marriage back because of his daughter, he's trying to win his marriage back because he misses his wife.

Yours unfortunately is a relationship that probably should not have started.

"I believe that separations like this take time and much emotional effort on both sides to deal with and get used to"

Then you probably understand what you got into here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 10:37am

'I do want him to be a loving father and to spend as much time with his daughter as possible.'


Then let him go. He wants his family back no matter what his motivation. Let him choose his daughter and stop being the one he goes back and forth to.


Think about it; why would a 'great guy' spend 10 days on vacation with you and then announce he is going back to his family? Why wouldn't he just go back to them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:13pm

Welcome to the board katia_0510,


I am sorry you are going through this. I can tell it is hard on you. However, you have only been together three months. That is a very short amount of time. The relationship is moving way too fast given the fact that you were going to quit your job and move to a different country for him.


I think the best thing for you to do right now is give him some time to figure out what he really wants to do.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:50pm

I agree with what's been said earlier in this thread--he's choosing his MARRIAGE, not his daughter.


Now, it may not work out with his wife, but he's going to give it a try and all you can do is accept that and move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 3:59pm

I went through a similar situation 16 years ago. We worked at the same place, knew each other casually and then one

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 6:53pm

Consider it the 'casualty risk' of getting involved with a not-yet-divorced-single dad ... there is an inherent risk in getting involved with ANYONE who is not yet divorced.