Boyfriend and "Party" Drugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Boyfriend and "Party" Drugs
5
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 1:47am
I don't know what to do. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years and I've hit a point where I'm not sure if it's worth continuing.

My boyfriend and his friends all take drugs when they go out, when they come to my house, whenever. While I did experiment with the stuff in the early years, I simply cannot handle the damage on my body and want to do other things with my/our lives (I'm 28). It also bothers me that whenever I see them, their brains are affected by the speed/ecstacy and I rarely see the real person. I resent my boyfriend's weekend long hangover and I hate the fact that it makes him stay out all night and not return til the next day.

I have talked to him about it for years and he says he doesn't plan to lead this lifestyle forever. Meanwhile his friends are still keen as ever to do this and unfortunately I know my man is eager to do whatever his friends do.

Other than this he is a very loving guy and his friends are also great people. Do I just put up with it? Leave?


Edited 5/31/2004 1:49 am ET ET by ko76
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 2:27am
so.... after years of talking to him about it.... do you really think it's going to change?

why choose to be with a drug addict?

would you willingly marry a raging alcoholic? same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 10:22am
You need to leave. You have expressed your concerns and yet what his friends' want is more important than what you want. The drugs he is choosing to do also increase his risk for some serious diseases later, yet that doesn't seem to be important to him. He is not thinking long term, while it sounds like you are. You need to be with someone who is not only on the same page but the same chapter of life as you are. He is stuck in the college party phase and it doesn't sound like he is leaving that phase anytime soon. Leave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 1:23pm
This kind of post makes me sad. Life is very short, and you have spent the loveliest years of your life, your 20's, with a loser druggie. You can't get those years back, so leave now and find someone worthy of you. Find a mature, responsible, sober MAN.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 5:36am
Thanks for your replies. It helps to put things in perspective. When you are completely surrounded by people who lead this lifestyle, it's very hard to see how normal, productive people in society would deal with this.

I guess the difficulty I'm having is that that was also a part of me years ago, so the issue is not so much that I am against something he enjoys, but rather I want to grow up and move on - and he's not ready to do that.

Also I am afraid that if I leave him I will consequently lose a lot friends too (I have become good friends with many of friends over the years). Or do you think they are just part of the problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 9:48pm
Move on. Its time to turn the page to the next chapter of your life.