Boyfriend is friends with his ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Boyfriend is friends with his ex
1
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 5:24pm
I'll try and make this pretty brief...My bf and I have been together almost a year. At the very beginning of our relationship he kissed another girl..we stayed together and worked through it and we began to gain our trust with each other back. Well...he is still friends with his ex girlfriend. And I have tried to be considerate b/c he says they are just friends..well when we first started seeing each other before we were official..this was a girl he considered himself still "talking to" They had a class together last semester which bothered me and now she is away for the summer teaching at a camp. Well she calls him like twice a week which I get mad at. I'm wondering if this should bother me or not. I feel like sometimes he puts her before me. He got extremely mad at me last night...I was already upset about something and I was crying while i was changing into my pjs after we got back from dinner..it was something to do with one of my friends. Well he leaves to go nextdoor to change clothes (we live next door to each other in an apt complex)..well i go over there after i change cause i was still really upset..and he's on the phone with his ex. I got pissed and unplugged the phone and then he got pissed at me. he called her back on the other phone and i hung up on her again. I have unplugged it once before last week when he was talking to her right in front of me and he got mad that time, but got over it. I don't think he understands why it bothers me. I feel like he cares more about her than me. What should I do? Am I reading too much into it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 6:12pm
She's away and they are talking twice a week, and when you were upset about something, he talks to her instead of emotionally comforting you? Doesn't sound good to me. However, your reaction to his conversation with her (unplugging the phone) changed the focus from his behavior (not meeting your emotional needs or comforting you) to your reaction, which now puts his behavior on the back-burner and probably won't get addressed.

Have you read '10 Things Couples Do to Mess up Their Relationship' by Dr. Laura? I suggest you read it with him.


Carrie