Boyfriend gives mixed signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Boyfriend gives mixed signals
11
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 11:44pm
Help... my boyfriend said to me just today that he loves me and wants me forever. When i brought up some issues that we have together all the sudden he is running for the hills telling me maybe i should move out for a while and see how it goes.... he wants to see if he will be better without me. He's really on and off!!!!!! One minute he loves me dearly and forever and others he says he wants me to move out or he needs space!

Crystal-

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 11:52pm

Ok, stop giving him all the power.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 12:00am
Yea its the same guy. It's been three years we live together and I love him to death i feel like i have nothing else in life right about now. I wish things would heal.

Crystal-

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 12:47am
So he heads for the hills when you bring up relationship issues?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 5:26am
I noticed this isn't the first time you've posted about him. Personally, I hate it when people say "Break it off" or "You two need to talk" or the easy advice to give in difficult situations.
Maybe what you need to do is write a list of pros and cons. What's really great about him, those great little things he does, the great memories... and the cons, the times you wake up with bruises, his indecisiveness... and take a deep breath and ask yourself... are you worth this? Are you ready to take all the good with all the bad? Write down what you think the relationship will be like in a year, three years, five years, ten, twenty... what would happen if, say, you two divorced? If you got in an accident in his car?
Take a breath and focus on you... don't worry about him, he's a big boy, he can stand on his own. But it's time you remembered how to do that so you can take moments like this in stride.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 2:18pm
I think you meant this for the original poster.
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 1:36pm

i feel like i have nothing else in life right about now


NEVER make someone else your whole life.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 2:23pm

He may love you and yet not be able to deal with issues, communication or feelings. Love is one thing, the ability to be in a lasting, healthy, loving relationship is another. In order to build a relationship both individuals need to understand themselves and their partners, be willing to communicate, share, cooperate and take responsibility. It doesn't sound as though he can do that at this time. He needs to grow up, and/or to get some good counseling.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 07-12-2008 - 12:18pm
The last few people who wrote to me were really helpful. I dont know anything about myself and Im hurting so bad. I have nothing and i have made him my whole life. I dont even know where to begin or how to get friends...

Crystal-

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 07-12-2008 - 12:28pm

You can follow the link in my siggy below to the Breaking up is Hard to Do board - there are a lot of resources there as well.


Relationship Grieving Process - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=22985.1


Start journal writing. Vent on paper.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 07-13-2008 - 6:34pm

I just read your profile.


Why not take violin or singing class or join a choir? Get involved in a local campaign for a candidate that is for womens' rights or a children's charity?


my favorite quote
Love is always patient and kind, It does not take offense , It is never boastful nor jealous.


Does this describe your boyfriend?

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