Boyfriend looks at porn...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Boyfriend looks at porn...
3
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 4:16pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. Ive caught him looking at porn in the past and told him how it makes me. He didnt look at it for a long time (like 6 months) but the other day, I discovered that he had looked at it again. Its not under age porn or vilolent porn or anything like that. I explained again that it makes me feel bad about myself when he looks at naked girls (Yes I know I am insecure). He said he only did it because he was bored. Should I be bothered or just let it go?

(SORRY IF THIS IS POSTED IN THE WRONG CATAGORY)

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 6:05am
Hi.

Don't know if I'll be any help but thought I'd throw in my two cents. I don't care what anyone says - every guy looks at porn. it doesn't mean he finds you any less attractive, its just what they do. I know it's hard if you've got low self asteem or are insecure but really try not to let it bother you.

But if it really does bother you and it's something you feel you can't just accept and let go then talk to your boyfriend again. He shouldn't continue doing something that really upsets you - whatever it is.

Sorry if that wasn't any help. Have you spoken to him about it again? What did he say?

Yolande

xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 8:00am
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Not all men look at porn. Billions of men worldwide turn away from porn in disgust either out of religious conviction or personal ethics. Please don't lump all guys together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 12:10pm
Thank you for stating that. I think it's sad that "porn is normal and ok" is soo pounded into the youth of today. If it was soo normal and ok, then why does it cause so many problems in relationships? I also know MANY men who are just as disgusted by porn as many women are.

To the original poster, I think it's a matter of choice on your part now whether porn is something you want in your relationships with ANYONE or not. You've told your BF how you feel about it. He obviously doesn't share your feelings or beliefs. And I wouldn't count on him changing his mind any time soon or if ever. So it's up to you whether or not you want to continue your relationship with him. It's your choice now...and remember that if you choose to stay with him knowing his stance on porn regardless of you feelings about it, you really have no right to complain. You were warned. And it's not like your married...you can still move on much easier at this point. JMHO. BTW, I think this philosophy applies to many issues in our lives, not just porn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 2:47am
I told him that I knew, and he said he was sorry he didnt know why he was looking, he was just bored. He said it wasnt because of me and he didnt do it to upset me. Then he said sorry and told me that its not an all the time thing. I know he felt bad. I also know he wasnt trying to hide it from me, because ya, it was all right there in front of my face, lol. But I guess most guys just dont think before they do things. I'm probably over reacting, I just dont understand why he would do it, when he knows how it makes me feel.