boyfriend needs time

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
boyfriend needs time
5
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 9:12am

Hi,


I'm hoping you can help by offering me some advice.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 11:38am

When someone is dealing with cancer that has returned, even if they are clean or free at the moment, it is natural to have fear, anxiety and concern about the future. He needs plenty of time to sort everything out and to just see how his health is. At a time like this it would be very difficult to put energy into a relationship. He needs all his energy to process what is going on with him and to heal and to see how things work out. If you want to stay with him, you will have to be very, very patient and not make any demands on him at all at this time. You can't look for attentiveness or the usual affection from him now. He doesn't know if he's going to have a future at all, so how can he make a committment to you. This is not a time to focus on your own feelings. If you want to be there for him that's something else...just be there and make no demands for now and for quite awhile. Then you'll naturally see how things are working out.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 12:11pm

Welcome to the board femaleneedsadvice,


You are giving the time he needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 3:13pm
After reading dr. shoshana's reply I would have to say that you are in for a trying time with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 5:06pm

Dr. Shoshanna,


Thank you so much for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 5:17pm

Hi Carrie,


Thanks for your reply.


I agree that living a life of fear is not a good life at all!