Boyfriend Problems!! Please Read!!!
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Boyfriend Problems!! Please Read!!!
| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 1:41pm |
What would you do if you love your boyfriend very much and he was really sweet and nice when you met him. You have been going out wit him for one year and everything is going GREAT until suddenly he starts to change. He says isnt sure if he loves you. To add on to that everyday you have to listen to him talkin about how he isnt sure if you are the one for him and that he might want another girl. He isnt sweet and lovin anymore sometimes he acts cold and he treats you like crap. You have tired EVERYTHING possible to help him. You have been there for him supported him even if it hurts you deeply to hear him say he doesnt kno if you are the one. Everyday you get hurt emotionaly cause of this you give him all your love and time and always try to be there and he doesnt seem to appriciate it or understand how GREAT your being to him. You feel like NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO he always says " what if there is someone better". What would you do? Would you dump him or not?

why are you letting him treat you like this? remember - you cannot control other people, but you can control yourself. he is treating you like crap, he is mean to you, he says he doesn't love you, and it sounds like he is basically laying the groundwork for cheating on you.
believe him.
he doesn't want to be with you.
you deserve to be with someone who loves you, cherishes you, wants you.
hugs....
Yes it's dumb, women like us deserve so much more. I have been reading the discussions here and it's slowly making me angry on men and in relationships in general. But deep inside me, I still love my bf and I am still hoping and praying that we'll get back together for good just like before. It's a crazy feeling. I wanted to appear independent and strong like how I used to be when I did not have a boyfriend but now, I feel like crap jsut because of some sorry guy who doesnt know what love really means.
Anyways, I guess the best thing to do is to give him the time/space that he needs without breaking up if you still love him and work on getting over him in the background. So, whether or not he decides to come back to you, you'll be fine. I wish I could that but right now it's pretty hard for me it should take practice I guess.
Whatever happens, I wish for the best for you.
Remember, these men don't control you. They may have the power to hurt you and make you feel insecure, but you're in control of your actions. You're in control of how much you give. It's a tall order to give, give, give, and not expect a man to take, take, take. He may see that he doesn't need to put forth any effort to get you to give, give, give in return. You'll just do it because you love him. So, what's to motivate him to give anything back to you? Because it's the right thing to do? Yes, I agree. But it's not the path of least resistance.
Without knowing your relationships better, I can't give you firm advice. I can say that in the first six months of my relationship, we were very up and down, and I went through a lot of heartache and insecurity. But I did just what Deathstrike advised; I gave him time and space, but really got my own life together while I was at it. I made myself ready to accept it if he didn't want to get serious. And add to that complete openness and honesty. I had to muster up some courage, but I made him tell me exactly what was going through his mind, and let him know just was and wasn't acceptable to me. They weren't harsh terms, but they were firm. And we weathered that storm, and now we've been together for two years, a million times stronger than ever.
BUT the point is, make it clear what your needs are, and don't center your life on fulfilling his needs. All that does is lower his respect for you, not view you as a partner in this relationship, and give him no reason to address your needs. Claim what's yours, and don't accept less. If he won't give it to you, WALK AWAY.
Lilprincesabella , it sounds like this guy doesn't have enough respect for you, and my instinct is that you should send him packing. But you know your relationship best, and that is your call. Either way, I hope you both find happiness.
Next time he is mean to you or disrespectful or belittles you or says he thinks he can do better...do yourself a favor and YOU go find someone better, because I bet you could in no time. I'm not saying rush out and get another guy, but try to walk away from this jerk (I know, easier said than done), but try. I'd also think about working on yourself. It seems like he's torn you down a lot and yet you are still with him. This might be a big self esteem issue that you have with yourself. You might need some "you" time because you can't have a healthy relationship until you are happy and confident with yourself.
I hope things work out for you. You certainly deserve better!
I hope that's the right thing to do. I also make it a point that I understand his need for space right now and he doesnt have to worry about me..that I am just here for him all the way.