He keeps giving you the answer, but you refuse to listen to it.
>I just don't understand or know how to handle him when he goes into his cave, as he puts it.
That's because you need to have things on your terms and simply can't just let him alone for when he needs alone time. If you get in a major argument, what is he supposed to do, cuddle you? Most men... and most human beings... aren't like that. He told you exactly what he needs to feel good again, just some alone time. So what are you "sick with worry" for? That he's going to kill himself or end the relationship? Give yourself a break, go out with friends or something.
He's not giving you the silent treatment, he's verbally asking you to give him some time to cool down. Maybe these arguments aren't the end of the world but if he's emotionally hurt by them then you can't tell him he's wrong for feeling that way, because he's not.
I think you should compromise and let him have his time off before you come back and address the issue. Stop making it all about you and let him gather his thoughts before he talks about it again. As long as you're not having blowups all the time this shouldn't be very hard.
Hmm, well at least he's making an effort. 3-4 days is a long time to need time alone. I'd say maybe he's making up an excuse to go do something on his own, and not think about anything negative.
I think you have already been given good advice, but I wanted to add, it hard to accept the silent treatment and roll with it.... I'm stating the obvious because, right now you are long distance, once you are married, how will that work for you?
He keeps giving you the answer, but you refuse to listen to it.
>I just don't understand or know how to handle him when he goes into his cave, as he puts it.
That's because you need to have things on your terms and simply can't just let him alone for when he needs alone time. If you get in a major argument, what is he supposed to do, cuddle you? Most men... and most human beings... aren't like that. He told you exactly what he needs to feel good again, just some alone time. So what are you "sick with worry" for? That he's going to kill himself or end the relationship? Give yourself a break, go out with friends or something.
He's not giving you the silent treatment, he's verbally asking you to give him some time to cool down. Maybe these arguments aren't the end of the world but if he's emotionally hurt by them then you can't tell him he's wrong for feeling that way, because he's not.
I think you should compromise and let him have his time off before you come back and address the issue. Stop making it all about you and let him gather his thoughts before he talks about it again. As long as you're not having blowups all the time this shouldn't be very hard.
Welcome to the ksparky49,
I think you have already been given good advice, but I wanted to add, it hard to accept the silent treatment and roll with it.... I'm stating the obvious because, right now you are long distance, once you are married, how will that work for you?