Boyfriend thinks everything is his!
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| Mon, 06-14-2004 - 9:40am |
I wanted to get some input about my boyfriends attitude lately. We have been dating for about 15mo and we've lived together for about 10 mo. We both gotten new jobs that are sort of far away from our apartment so my bf has decided to buy a house that is between both our jobs. Initially I thought that we were going to buy the house together, but his father gave him a lot of money towards the house, and I guess he decided to do it on his own "just in case". It was rocky figuring that stuff out, but we got through it. The problem now is that he keeps bringing up how the house is his, and that he's letting me live there. We have the occaisional battle over things in the apartment, starting out at something as small as a chair and ending up with him finally saying that his name is first on the lease and so it's his apartment. It's soooo stupid, but it gets me so upset. One of the reasons I was okay with moving in together was because we got a new aparment together and we put everything in it together. Now we're moving to a new house and we'll put it in together, but at the end of the day he can pull this crap about how it's his house. The part that really hurts is that it constantly reminds me that I didn't have enough money to help with the house and that we're not married.
Half the time he talks about things in the future and about us together, and the house, and all that stuff, and the other half he acts like we haven't had a serious relationship for over a year. I'm incredibly frustrated with him and I plan to talk to him tonight, but I'm having trouble trying to talk about where we're going with our relationship and tell him that I won't stand this lording his house over me because I don't hold any of my possesions over him, and all without seeming like I want to get married so that I can have his stuff. Because I really don't care what's his and what's mine, but I really don't want to hear about it all the time, and I really don't feel like I can be evicted so that he can win some stupid fight. I also will not feel motivated or intersted in doing anything positive for the house if I feel like he sees it as his house and his tenant that happens to be sleeping in the same bed.
So basically, I'm just looking for some pointers about how to get the conversation going and keep my cool. I tend to get overly upset sometimes and he just shuts up and won't talk.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jes
