Boyfriend throws me out of bedroom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Boyfriend throws me out of bedroom
14
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 8:54pm
I've been living with this guy (his house) for about 3-1/2 years. Whenever he gets mad at me (usually over stupid things) he gives me the cold shoulder, won't speak to me & throws my things out of the bedroom. Says it's HIS room, HIS house, etc. I am forbidden to show him any "disrespect" in HIS house. Help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 9:26pm
Do you pay your equal share of the household expenses including rent? Do you contribute to the cleaning, cooking, shopping and laundry? That information would be helpful in giving you a response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 11:47am

And after so long, youkeep putting up with ihs behavior for what reason?? The next time he tells you to get out, why dont you go somewhere?Do you have a freind or family member that would let you crash with them for awhile?


In any sort, his behavior is disrespespectful and will continue because you let it.


People treat you the way you let them think is acceptable.Next time he threatens you, act on it, and go.It will catch on to him that he cant treat you this way and still expect you to stick around.


Good luck,

cl-marsexpert

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 11:54am
Move out - and yes, it's just that simple. I have no idea what you financial situation is but move out because you are not being treated fairly at all in this relationship.

For your boyfriend to treat you like that we you two have an argument only exemplifies the level of disrespect that he exercises when dealing with you. You should value your own self-worth more than anyone (including him) does.

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 12:21pm
Uh...Yeah. Definitely move out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:17pm
He doesn't realize that he is not making you feel very secure in the relationship if he can always threaten you *kick you out* - I suggest you have a talk with him when you are both calm and express that you don't feel comfortable because he kicks you out when he's upset. And that it's making you question long-term possiblities. If you were in counseling together, the counselor might be able to get him to see that his behavior in a fight isn't supportive of the relationship between the two of you. One solution would be to move and get a place together. If it's not an option, you need to express how you feel and see where it goes from there, even bring up counseling.

My best to you.


Edited 11/25/2003 1:19:01 PM ET by itwinflame


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:27pm
no offense to you, hon, but your boyfriend is a dick.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 3:28pm
tell him since it is "his" house he can have it all to himself and LEAVE permanantly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 8:39pm
At the end of your post you say "Help!" Honey, help yourself! I wouldn't even allow my children to act the way your bf acts and I think it's totally sad that you allow yourself to be treated this way, and have chosen to stay with him longer than 10 seconds after the first time he did it. Make some better choices and you'll find some better experiences. Good luck.
Avatar for goldiegrrrrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 9:33pm

I totally know where you are coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 11:36pm
I am in almost the same situation, and have been for quite a while, so I know how it feels. It is hard to up and leave right away, but at the same time, don't leave in a moment of rage if you aren't ready to leave for good. Every time we fight and he tells me to leave, I have to go running to my family, crying the whole way, asking if I can stay there. In the end, we always make nice and I go back. But then you are playing with the people who love you. My family lets me stay because they feel bad, but I just end up making them worry about me and feel used.

Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. Write down on the top what you make every month, then subtract average rent for your area, household bills, etc. If it is not possible to move anytime soon or even if you aren't ready to leave, put some money away every month so that if one day he kicks you out of the house completely, you will be able to provide for yourself, which is the most important!

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