Boyfriend's Brother is Causeing Isses
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Boyfriend's Brother is Causeing Isses
| Mon, 06-07-2004 - 3:18pm |
I have recently moved to a new area to live with my boyfriend of 8 months. We were together for a few months and then he moved to this new city in order get a job and get things ready before I moved too. We were apart for 3 months during this process. Before we moved I was the center of his attention and the person that he spent the most time with. We moved to this new city because he had family there and we knew that we wanted to be close to at least some family. Well now that we are down here it seems like he would rather spend time with his brother and his fiancé than me. We are constantly over at their place, at least 4 times a week, and they never come to our home. They are very different people than I am and are not people that I would choose to surround myself with. I know that his brother and fiancé feel the same way about me. His brother has NEVER liked any of his past girlfriends, myself included. Whenever we are over at their home and my boyfriend is paying attention to me, he will do everything in his power to distract him and get his attention away from me. This would include physically tackling him. My boyfriend says that is who his brother is and that I should learn to accept it. He has had some conversations with the both of us separately asking us to be more accepting of each other b/c of the strain it causes on each of the relationships and the stress it causes him. However, and maybe I’m wrong about this but I think that your significant other is the person that should be number one. Not the brother. I feel like I’m not entertaining enough for him now that we are around his brother. I told him that I need to spend more quality time with him without the other couple, and he told me that he doesn’t know if its in him right now. I told him if that was the case then I should leave because life is to short. He insists that he doesn’t want me to leave and that he does love me. I’m currently having trouble finding a job and so our finances are stretched which is another stress in our relationship.
How could he be so into me and our relationship and our future and then suddenly change because of the presence of his brother and his fiancé?
What is the deal with his brother and why is he constantly trying to ruin our relationship?
Doesn’t he want his little brother to find someone that he can spend his life with?
How could he be so into me and our relationship and our future and then suddenly change because of the presence of his brother and his fiancé?
What is the deal with his brother and why is he constantly trying to ruin our relationship?
Doesn’t he want his little brother to find someone that he can spend his life with?
Any input or advice would be appreciated!!
Thank you,
May you be blessed

This isn't going to be solved easily. Meaning, your bf probably can't put some healthy distance between him and his brother without some counseling. Also, that he's not willing to give you some one-on-one time with him ALONE, is a huge red flag.
Re-think this relationship.
Carrie