Boyfriends Internet Chat and Porn
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Boyfriends Internet Chat and Porn
| Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:03am |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now and I really love him. I have had 3 long relationships in my life and believe I have finally found love. My problem is that he is really into hardcore porn and internet chat. I don't have a problem with pornography but I feel like he is to into it and that it effects are sex life. It almost seems like he needs are sex life to be like a hardcore porn to enjoy it. Also, I just found out that he has been chatting online with people he knows and strangers, these chats are sexually expicit. His last real relationship prior to me was about 8 years ago so he has essentially been alone for a long time. He says that being alone for that long pushed him into this "life". He also says that he is very happy with me and that he is fullfilled in our relationship. If this is the case then why does he feel the need to be stimulated elsewhere. I expressed the fact that I think that "the chatting" takes away from our relationship and he stated that he didn't realize that it bothered me and he would never do it again. I am still uneasy with it and feel like it may continue, he will just hide it. Besides these things we really do have a great relationship. SHould I be bothered by this and could it lead to cheating? Any advice would be so helpful.

wow - RUN do not walk away from this! hardcore porn? online sex with strangers? and your sex life is suffering? and you are here --- why?
your bf shows every sign of being addicted to this. addictions are addictions - doesn't matter if its to booze, sex, porn, drugs. your life is not ever going to be 'normal' with him, and he WILL continue to lie to you and hide things. unless he somehow gets help for this - which i doubt he will because he is not even admitting to any responsibility ("He says that being alone for that long pushed him into this "life"" - ummm, no, i would say that this was a CHOICE.)
good luck to you!
Sadly I find it very hard to leave him. This is not because I am weak but because I know he really loves me and it would devastate him if I left. I know it would really hurt me also but I am 31 years old and I don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with issues like this. I know I will never find anyone that is perfect but I am having a hard time deciding what is acceptable behavior, behavior that is healthy or unhealthy for a relationship. Besides these things our relationship is perfect. I know I said I felt it
effected our sex life but it is not that we don't have sex because we do and when we do it is great besides the fact that he has trouble climaxing. I relate his trouble with climaxing to being desensitized from watching to much pornography over the years.
Anyway, thanks so much for the advice. I believe that eventually I will know exactly what to do; I just need to listen to myself better