Boyfriends low sex drive: please help..
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Boyfriends low sex drive: please help..
| Sat, 02-14-2004 - 8:52pm |
Ive been going out with my fiance for nearly 18 months now. We are engaged to be married. Problem is his sex drive is low. Im not sure if its because mine is too high though? We have sex about 4 times a week, but its usually me who intitiates it. It was like this at the beggining, although he was more interested then. Recently (in the 2 months) he has become more uniterested in sex. When we have sex though, its really good. I think he would rather watch TV and read than have sex. He also likes to sleep without cuddling. He said hes always been like this and needs space in the bed. He does cuddle me in the mornings 'sometimes' though and always holds my hand when we are out.
He also likes to kiss, occasionally.
I am sick of having to initiate it and turn him on. Why cant he do that to me?
My ex boyfriend would always come onto me first (90 percent of the time) and i always felt desired because of this.
My current guy doesnt ever look at me like he wants to cuddle or have anything intimate. He tells me that he doesnt like having sex late evening because hes tired. but in the mornings hes out of bed before me and hes not there to cuddle. Ive talked to him about this and he says that im more highly sexed than him and that hes more 'cerebral'
Am i too highly sexed?
It wasnt like this with my ex.
As a result of this Im not feeling desired or attractive much anymore.
In other areas of the relationship everything is good. He treats me very well and takes me out a lot, hold my hand etc...
When we do have sex he seems very happy and we have a good time.
What is wrong? Is it me?
He also likes to kiss, occasionally.
I am sick of having to initiate it and turn him on. Why cant he do that to me?
My ex boyfriend would always come onto me first (90 percent of the time) and i always felt desired because of this.
My current guy doesnt ever look at me like he wants to cuddle or have anything intimate. He tells me that he doesnt like having sex late evening because hes tired. but in the mornings hes out of bed before me and hes not there to cuddle. Ive talked to him about this and he says that im more highly sexed than him and that hes more 'cerebral'
Am i too highly sexed?
It wasnt like this with my ex.
As a result of this Im not feeling desired or attractive much anymore.
In other areas of the relationship everything is good. He treats me very well and takes me out a lot, hold my hand etc...
When we do have sex he seems very happy and we have a good time.
What is wrong? Is it me?

i agree with zurah - there is nothing "wrong" with either of you - but you have different needs. its like any OTHER need in a relationship - and you need to either ACCEPT (really accept, which means stop comparing him to your ex, and accepting him as a whole) or move on. DON'T even think of getting married if you are not happy with this.
sex drive can also be affected by other issues -