Boyfriend's Parents
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| Tue, 05-06-2008 - 5:41pm |
Hey.
My name's Sarah and my boyfriends name is well lets call him (Kris), Kris and I have been dating for 1 year 5 months, he works mon - fri. during this period he was living with his parents in their basements we had fights that extended to his parents getting involved in the middle of the night usually just during the weekends when we were both drunk and this always happened because he says things that he thinks don't bother me or hurt me (sarcastic comments = hurtful), well we'd argue in the basement and his mom would wake up and I know she has every right to be angry (of course we woke her up) but when she comes down stairs she only bitches at me, not her son who of course starts these things.
Anyways about a month ago on a weekend Kris and I went out had fun drank enjoyed the night we were having a great time, as soon as we got back to his parents house something happened I don't remember what because we were both intoxicated but it was pretty bad we got in this verbal fight which became physical (he didn't hurt me or anything I was just grabbing his shirt) but his mother came down argued only with me and said "You two shouldn't be together, you guys need to split up" so that morning after not sleeping being drunk as a skunk and being blamed for everything (i never start a fight he usually says something that pisses me off and when i put him in his place he gets angry.)I just left and he lives so far from me I took a bus home.
we're a lot better now , realizing it's not worth arguing when were drunk.... so less arguing and having more of a great time and things have changed for the both of us.
The problem is he's moving out soon into an apartment that his father co-signed (because he has super bad credit) and I can't move in with him at all, his father said "I don't want her on the lease" and I can't just "stay" there and pay rent if his father finds out he can call authorities and have me charged and escorted out I would have no proof I stayed there my rent money would be collected by him and I wouldn't get credited for anything, now my boyfriend thinks everything will be fine but I really believe this will end our relationship ive always wanted to move out with him ive never had place on my own
and of course..................
he has really bad friends (real scum bag friends who don't like me at all) and i'm afraid will bring girls over after the club and get him real drunk and tell him bad stuff about me. I dont think he'd cheat on me, but if he's got his close friends around who he grew up with telling him bad stuff about me ( of course I don't think he'd believe them but when your drunk your easily influenced ) what if? right. i'm not there either how can i see our relationship go anywhere if i cant even see him or even be living with him.
I just need some advice please and just what should i do? I don't want to break up but at the same time will our trust be broken?!

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Poeticjustice, I'm sorry you are in this situation.
However, look at this situation logically.
Thanks for the advice.
I know what you mean,and I have been drinking less and not to the point where i don't know whats going on.
I also thought about the situation but I really do love him and just recently he told me "You're a sweet girl, but you let your feelings get the best of you" which i completely don't understand. he is my first boyfriend too so i'm not the best at realizing things right away. When im not drunk im having a good time as well but he gets drunk and is either in a good mood or bad, and i've never noticed it before but he becomes very "moody".
which is so annoying because i have to watch what i say so he doesn't get angry when hes loaded.
Welcome to the board poeticjusticezx,
If love was enough, none of us would be here.
He is your first boyfriend so naturally you will take things more to heart than he would.
It doesnt sound like he is as devoted to your relationship as you are if he is allowing his parents and friends to dictate these things to him.
Thank you all for the advice.
"is it male thing to not want to deal with problems/confrontation and share feelings on certain things, because I can never open up to him, because im afraid it'll create tension between or he might think i'm a huge "drama queen"
NO it is not a male thing, it sounds like you have a problem with communication just as much as he does...because you can't open up to him because you are "afraid".
It is his parents house and if it were one of my kids..they fought because they were drunk and woke me up....I would say the same thing, I would tell you to leave also, but I would also talk to my child about the situation (while you are not there)
Well, I cant imagine not being with him though, I know it's bad what happened but really I am embarassed and I do feel ashamed I want to make everything better and I want everything to be fine, and even right now i'm just really doing everything I can to get on his parents good side. But I dont know how.
The best way to get on their good side again is prove by your actions that you are not the same person, don't repeat the getting drunk, fighting let them see the person you can become (if you really want to change) Don't try to force the issue with them, they will either come around or they won't.
" everyone to like me and I just don't understand how to go on about it."
You can't MAKE someone like you besides not everyone in this world will like you....but for the majority of people to like you... YOU have to like yourself first.
Since this is your first serious relationship you will not be able to navigate choppy waters as others who have been through it already.
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