Boyfriends wild actions scare me!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Boyfriends wild actions scare me!?
15
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 2:10am
My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. I moved across the country to be with him, he is the most amazing man I have ever meet in my life. We seem to have a lot in common but of course we have our rough times and differences as well. Gradually he has been making very unsafe decisions. He is twenty eight years old and doesn't seem to grasp the basic concept of safety. My friends are scarred to ride around on the jet-ski with him because he thinks nothing will happen since he has more Experience. He ignores the fact that statistics prove otherwise and blames accidents on inexperienced stupid people. When riding his Harley he doesn't wear a Helmet or other protection because he has experience. He thinks if something happens he will fall correctly. For instance a comment he made "If I fell off my bike at 130 mph I would be fine because my friend taught me how to fall. This idea seems off the wall and even crazy to me. To top it off he makes me feel stupid for wanting to wear a Helment and other protection. I told him I didn't want to get road rash or in an accident he said "We're just riding around town and I have years of experience". I do not know how to handle this. I love this man with all my heart but I don't want to have to answer the door to a police officer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 5:53pm
Bipolar Disorder, Personality Disorder, Schizo-affective anything, depression, ADD, ADHD are among the mental illnesses that can be at play here. The most likely being Bipolar and ADD/ADHD. However, if this is new behavior, it's more likely to be depression unless he's a very young man.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 1:57am

Exactly why I wasn't trying to diagnose. He certainly needs some professional help.

But getting him to see he that he needs help will be the hard thing here... Virtually impossible at this point, I guess.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 4:09am
If it is a mental health issue, he'll probably have to bottom out before he'll admit there's a problem. Sorry. My ds, 26yo, has Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Schizo-affective Bipolar, depending on the doc he talks to. He only takes meds after a suicide attempt. He lives most of his life in the mode you are describing.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 2:40pm

Isn't this something that you would questioned when you were dating him??? These behaviors are immature and YES he will hurt himself because as we all know he may have the experience but all it takes is one car to turn in front of him without a helmet and he is toast. You have obviously made the choice for it to be okay because it's been 2 years...this issue should have been resolved long ago.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Cindy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 8:05pm
The OP said that this is a change that has been happening gradually. It's not something that was there from the beginning.


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