Break-up
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| Sun, 07-08-2007 - 5:58pm |
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!
ok....so its a very long story but ill try and shorten it.
my boyfriend and i were dating for 1 1/2 years. sometime in late april my boyfriend john and i took a break. we still talked while we were on the break and when he came home from college he said we'd get back together because it'd be better in person....he came home a few weeks later saying that he wanted to break up. i asked if there was someone else he said no. i told him id do anything to have him back. he said he broke up with me because i was always so needy and stuff. like when he came home i wanted him to hang out with me and not his friends. i said im sorry a million times and that i wanted him back. i talked to everyone about this and they said just dont talk to him anymore. a few days later i checked his facebook (its a website like myspace.) and it said he was in a relationship with someone that goes to the same school that he does. i asked him if it was true and he said yes. they started going out a few days after we started our break. but he kept it from me. so when he said there was no one else he lied. i kept text messaging him because i couldnt cut him out of my life. it was hard. everyone just said NO STOP TEXTING him. so i havn't texted him for about a week now. he texted me like the night he said it was over that he would always love me, no matter what. i know you cant tell the future but i just need to know from anyone what do you think will happen. i keep thinking that maybe he will come back...maybe he wont. i just need an idea to lean towards. what do you think will happen. do you think he will come back to me? if so how long do you think it will take. i dont care that he did this because i treated him badly while he was at college. i still want him back. we did everything together. he got me a limo for my birthday i bought him a tiffanys bracelet. i bought him box seats to his favorite band. we had dinner together a lot. i made him breakfast in bed when he stayed over. i took him to my beach house....
please.
im open for anything.
Edited 7/8/2007 6:09 pm ET by liltrink2928
Edited 7/8/2007 6:32 pm ET by liltrink2928

You seem to think that love depends on flagrant displays of affection, gifts, and text messages. Your friends are right... STOP TEXTING HIM. First of all, text messages are not a substitute for real communication. Second, he is done with you. He broke up with you (a "break" is just another word for "breakup") and he started dating someone else. Why did he send you that text message? To keep you interested. He likes making sure that you will always pine over him regardless of what he does. You're the backup plan.
I don't think he will come back to you. And if he did, it wouldn't last.
You need to gather up some self-respect and move on.... While allowing HIM to move on as well, since he deserves it too. No amount of "I'm sorry"s and "come back to me" will ever change someone's feelings for you. I can't believe you'd be doing that when he said that the problem was you being needy. What does someone who won't let you out of their life sound like? NEEDY.
You're not going to change his feelings for you, so give up trying. Accept that the relationship is over and eventually you'll stop caring whether or not he comes back. Fighting a breakup is the most humiliating thing you can do to yourself. Come on, don't act like a child. Pick yourself up and be an adult, let him go, and continue on with your life because you're stronger than you're letting yourself act.
You have to find a way to get ahold of yourself, mature and realize that life goes on without a man.
'do you think he will come back to me?'
No, because;
1)he came home a few weeks later saying that he wanted to break up.
2)he said he broke up with me because i was always so needy and stuff.
3)it said he was in a relationship with someone
4)i treated him badly while he was at college.
What else is going on in your life? Do you have work, friends, volunteer work, hobbies, etc?
Welcome to the board liltrink2928,
The more you contact him, text him, etc, the further you will push him away.
so if i dont text him for a while do you think he'll come back eventually?
he kept it on his myspace. it still says "i love you rob with all of my heart. i always will."
"so if i dont text him for a while do you think he'll come back eventually?"
No, you're not quite getting it.
You're using text messages and myspace comments as a way to communicate with someone and gauge his feelings for you. I guess that's an acceptable thing to do if you're fourteen but I'm assuming you are older than that.
You're not REALLY listening to the advice here... We don't think he's going to come back to you. You seriously need to grow up and let this guy go, not only did he start dating someone else but he lied to you. Please, if you're going to ask for advice here you really need to read it even if it's not what you want to hear. He isn't coming back.
::so if i dont text him for a while do you think he'll come back eventually?
Sweetie, I can't tell you what he may or may not do.... all I can tell you is that if you constantly check with him, talk to him, call him, text him, he will be so annoyed/irritated that you will never have a chance.
If he's in a relationship with someone else, it's best to let him go. Seems as though he needs something else at this time. His text message might well have meant that he would always love and care about you as a person. This does not mean he's coming back or that he wants a romantic relationship with you. There are many different ways in which we can love or care for others...it's not always romantic.
I know how hard it is to let go and break up, but seems it is best for you emotionally to do so. Don't blame yourself for what happened, but try to learn from the relationship. What happened that worked, what happened that did not work. See if you can then apply what you learn in the future.
Spend time now building up your own life. Be with friends who are supportive, get invoved in activities that are enjoyable and meaningful to you. You don't want to remain needful and base your life around a guy. Make your life full and healthy and then you will be ready for another relationship in which you will treat him well and be more independent. Get ready for this by working on yourself.
All good wishes,
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