Break Up or Stay Together
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Break Up or Stay Together
| Thu, 08-02-2007 - 12:01pm |
I met a man a yr ago and dated for a month. We were both newly divorced and agreed neither of us were looking for a serious relationship so we decided to not see each other. We continued to talk by phone and never lost contact. He began calling more frequently recently and we went out for drinks on June 1st. We have been seeing each other ever since but only once a week. We both have children and work, lots of responsibilities, etc. Lately I have been feeling doubtful about our relationship and what it all means. We talked about it and the response I got from him was he liked me a lot, enjoyed my company and spending time with me and that "we were having fun". I asked him if "fun" meant we were **** buddies or a friend with benefits. He immediately answered neither that we were more than that. Very close good friends was his response. Whats bothering me is the lack of time we spend together. Usually Friday night is our night to see each other and its only for a few hrs. We talk everyday by phone but I am craving more time in person with him and that's not happening. He agrees with me that it would be nice to spend more time together but that we both have other things going on in our lives, ie work, kids. I know that, I am in agreement but it seems that he is satisfied with the once a week deal and I'm not. I dont feel as if Im being irrational here, in order to get to know him better spending time together is important. He seems content. I don't know what to do, I did do the right thing about telling him how I feel and having some of my concerns addressed but I don't feel a whole lot better today. Sometimes I feel as if im someone he "slips into his schedule". Neither of us is looking for marriage which is fine, but now that we've become intimate I need to know/feel as if I matter to him and at a higher level. I know he cares, I can feel it, I know he likes me, feel that too, just want more time. When we're not together he says he misses me, to me they are just words, if you miss me so much then nothing should keep you from me. Im sorry for rambling, Im confused, I dont know what to do. HELP!

Well, you've tried speaking with him and he proceeded to justify why things need to be the way they are. He's happy with it "as is".
If you're not, you need to move on.
How about dating others and also dating him? Unless you've discussed exclusivity (which you probably shouldn't have at 2 months) then you should assume that's what he's doing too.