breaking up
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breaking up
| Sat, 08-14-2004 - 3:50pm |
last year my boyfriend and i got back to gether after him breaking up with me for a couple months, he said the feelings werent there, well we got back together in july and moved in together in october and then he told me he loved me...well there has been this ongoing issue where i somethimes loose it and leave him countless messages....he likes to spend alot of time out by himself but we also have our together time, but than for no reason at all i feel as if he is out because he doesn't want to be with me, which isn't it at all he has said that from day one, no matter who he's with that's how he will be...well i guess i have some kind of insecurity issue or something, i'm fine for weeks and than boom, i get mad at him for going out and accuse him of seeing other people, which he isn't....well this last time i went too far i sent him like 100 text messages can't even remember what 10 of them were, he's like it's over , we have tried and tried but you turn into a jeckyl and hide and i can't continue to walk on eggshells, he says a relationship shouldn't be that much work it should come natural....well here i sit crying because he definitly going to leave, i told him i need help or something and he's like well than u should do that for yourself, he won't hang in there any longer, he said he keeps giving me chance after chance and this was the last staw..he claims he still loves me but can't remain in a relationship that continues to go nowhere...i feel lost right now no clue what to do, if feels as if part of me is gone..any advice would be much appreciated...

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At work just stay open, the chance might come, especially now that you and your b/f are spending time apart, you might be more available for friendship.
Get yourself a really good, well trained therapist, fast. You have a serious problem here that needs to be tended to - whether you are with him or not. The problem isn't about him, it' something in your own life that needs tending to. You can't force him to stay with you - all you can do is let him know that you are going to really work on this issue. What he does then is up to him. But whatever he does, you must handle this problem so that you can go forward in your life and have the kind of relationship you so much want.
Best wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
I not only was ('cause right now, the relationship is over) dependent and overly controlling, but he also had a past that worried me a lot(and we both had self control issues)
Well now he told me that he wishes to let go of that past, that he would make changes for me, but our relationship is probably already ruined.(too many bad things have happened)
I invested everything on him, now He's gone a few days to the seaside at his mother's, and I'm spending my holidays at my parents', lost the house we were sharing, (after a fight he asked me out...)
Well at least u can say your b/f is acting really rational,(no shouting, name calling or hands on) that's a good sign.
I must say my b/f at first tried to warn me about our problems and left me for a short while, but then we got back together and things never really got better..
Dependency is a dangerous issue to deal with, it's really hard to move on 'cause I keep on feeling it's all my fault...
So u can see there is worse than your situation :-)
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