Breaks: good or bad?
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| Sun, 12-02-2007 - 5:00pm |
Hello,
I've posted a few times about my boyfriend who seemed to grow distant. I also asked him if he loved me (which wasn't the best things to do, but what's said is said) and he told me no, but he cares about me. We've been together almost a year and our relationship is changing do to his work. He claims I am pressuring him because I want to see him more. We used to see each other almost 4-5 times a week...down to 2 if we're lucky.
Last night, we saw each other for the first time in 10 days. We talked on the phone twice during those days, with me being the one to have to contact him first. We went to a bar and he seemed distant. We talked, and I would put my hand on his shoulder or leg, like always. Well, he tells me that relationships change and we shouldn't have to touch all the time. So, I stopped. After an hour or so, he began touching me by holding my hand and resting his hand on my leg. We get back to my apartment and he says that he's realized the relationship has gotten serious and he's not ready for it so he wants his space. He told me that he wants things to be more relaxed in our relationship like it was in the beginning. He said he felt pressure when I would send him a text that said I miss you, or asking to see him. He also said that just because we're taking a break doesn't mean he won't call or we won't see each other, and that he feels we need to start from square one. He wants us to be able to have fun when we go out without the need to discuss our relationship (it got to a point where when we would see each other we would talk about an issue-but i only was seeing him once or twice a week) I understand where he is coming from-but my question is: Do taking breaks lead to breaking up? Does he want to make it work, but really does need some space? Or is he trying to let me down easy or string me along? Is it possible to start over?
We both agreed that our relationship needed to change, and I think he does still want to be with me since he said we would still see each other over our break. I recognize that I did become a little clingy in the relationship due to my own insecurities, and wondering if a few weeks of a break would really help. After a break is there a possibility of a man desiring a more serious relationship?
I just don't know what to think. He wants to take a break-yet we will still see each other but, when we do see each other he wants it to be like we've just started dating. Any help or thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi feliciasmith,
Here's your previous post:
Boyfriend growing distant/uninterested?
Give him exactly what he wants:
When he asks for space (aka, "a break")
'We both agreed that our relationship needed to change'
I think it is never a good sign when interest and time spent declines as a relationship progresses..