Broke up over communication & depression

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2007
Broke up over communication & depression
1
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 4:29pm

My boyfiend of two years broke up with me about a month ago. His reasons where is severe depression and his inability to communicate with me. He said that when there was something he needed to communicate with me that he didn't think I would like he just wouldn't do it because it would make him feel sick to his stomach. He has been battling depression for almost 20 years. He went to counseling about 7 years ago and didn't think that it helped. After he started training in karate and felt that that helped him and didn't really work on his depression anymore. He has always felt that he was meant to be alone for life... our years together were great for me... he has been battling the depression for so long that he said that he isn't always sure when he is happy. He had several major setbacks during our 2 years together... he broke his ankle and was able to train in karate for over 6 months, he tried unsuccessfully to run his own business for about 9 months... and then hurt his back and was unable to train again. During the last 6 months of our relationship he went back to school for the first time in 10 years (I have been attending during our entire relationship).

He started therapy about 3 weeks after we broke up which makes me very happy. We have maintained a friendship and have been there for eachother during the last month. I asked him if we could go to counseling together to work on our communication issues and start dating (not living togethr - he moved out when we broke up)... I asked him to think about it and take his time. I haven't heard back from him on it but we have been able to hang out together since I asked and have a good time.

Am I crazy to think that we can work on our relationship? I honestly believe he is my soulmate and that we can be happy together. I know he loves me and that we have a very strong bond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 11:51am

Welcome to the board goodieslip,


I think you might be able to work on your relationship. However, I think he needs more time in his individual counseling to continue working on himself before you try to work on your relationship. Give him some more time. If he doesn't mention anything about trying to get back together within two months than bring it up again. If he still doesn't want to talk about it then, I wouldn't mention it anymore.

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