Brother-Sister type relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Brother-Sister type relationship
4
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 10:29am

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months and I am 6 months pregnant. We get along great and he is going to be a wonderful father and is comitted 100%. He goes to grad school 2 hours away and comes home often. Ever since I moved into his parents, to save money for when I move in with him where he's going to school in August 08, he has been treating me very different. It feels like our relationship went from a romantic, passionate one to a brother/sister type relationship. He wrestles with me, likes when I watch him play video games, and does other brotherly type things. I'm very confused. Being pregnant, he should be gentle, comforting, and loving. But he's not.


Also, it would be nice to talk, think about, or maybe just get engaged, but I know he's not even thinking about that either. I don't know how to approach him on these issues. Because he's also the type where if you ask him a question or express your feelings he just gives a blank stare, like he's listening but doesn't want to. Help me!!! What to do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 10:55am
Sorry to hear you are going through this, especially while pregnant. I think I just asked the same question in my "what's up with him" thread.... I can't wait to see if anyone has any answers to how to get a guy to open up and talk about these things. I know I don't know how!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 11:08am

First off, don't rush engagement.

~Kristi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 3:53pm

Welcome to the board lindsaylk,


Here's some good reading material to consider:


Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman


Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw


Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix


A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman


Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis


He may be having a hard time with the idea of being a father.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 6:17pm

Well, as you are living with his parents, it is making him feel as though you are a sister, not a girlfriend. It's an odd arrangement, but I'm sure it also has many benefits. It seems as if you have not had that much time to be in a relationship with him before this pregnancy came. Now there are many pressures on both of you, facing parenthood, without really having had a chance to establish a strong foundation. Try to see him away from the home as much as you can. Arrange times and dates to be alone and make it quality time. Rather than pressure him about the future, help him to see you in a new way. Of course this can be quite challenging when you are pregnant with his child. I think the best thing here would be for the two of you to get some couple counselling to help you deal with all the changes that are going on. If he does not want to go, I suggest that you find someone professional you can talk to, about working out this relationship and creating a strong, healthy plan for your life in the future. There are so many factors involved here, it would be a great help to have someone who was truly able to assist you.


All the best wishes,