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| Sun, 08-31-2008 - 11:40am |
My boyfriend and I have been living together about almost 9 months now. It has been total bliss and I love him more and more everyday,I am /was completely and totally happy.
About 2 weeks ago his brother came knocking at our door at midnight one evening with his girlfriend in tow and her 3 children (one which has severe ADD) They had been kicked out of thier parents house and needed a place to live . Neither of them had jobs at the time. Not being able to turn them into the streets my boyfriend accepted them into our home. It has been 2 weeks of pure hell. These people dont have a clue about how to respect someone elses home. The boy with ADD is constantly tearing up or breaking my things to which he recieves no punishment for. The teenage daughter uses my makeup and other beauty products in my bathroom (she even used my razor and scrunchy) I ask them not to eat in the bedrooms they are staying in..you would think this would be a given but they do it anyway. This list goes on forever.
They both have jobs now which is good but creates another problem...the kids are often at my house with no supervision or with my boyfriends brother who has no clue how to discipline and it leaves me to keep peace and order in my house,did i mention her son doesnt mind me at all. Talking to the parents is like talking to a wall. They think they do nothing wrong and im just being difficult. Talking to my boyfriend is much the same way. "this is his family and we must help them"
His brother got into this situation by inviting his internet girlfriend whom had had never met in person,to bring her kids and live with with him. He had been moved out of his parents home less than a month when they arrived. They got into trouble finacially right away because they are too immature to handle this situation.
He has pretty much destroyed his parents relationship and now hes working on ours. This doesnt seem to bother them.My boyfriend and i are constanly fighting because im so stressed. I have no feeling for these people anymore...i cant even like them. I dont like myself either...i hate the feelings im having and i dont know what to do. I love my boyfriend and i imagined we would get married someday and be happy. Now im not so sure.
Does anyone understand or am i just being "difficult"?

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It's time to take charge of this situation.
You are not being difficult. Your boyfriend has put you into an impossible, disrespectful and negative situation. He has no right to do so. You must set up boundaries. You have every right and even responsibility to yourself to say no to them. You are not the baby sitter. Their children are not your responsibility. If your boyfriend can't see this that is a real problem. You have to lay the law down. You have to tell him just how often they are welcome, that they have to take responsibility for their children (it's not your job to do so), and that unless this happens, your relationship is in severe danger - just like their parents. Once again, if your boyfriend can't see this, or won't, then there is nothing you can do, except realize that your relationship with him is not what you had wanted or hoped for, and it cannot be healthy in this manner. Unless you are resepcted and valued, unless your needs are attended to, there is no basis for a relationship at all.
Best wishes,
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