Can I get my girl back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Can I get my girl back?
3
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 11:08am
I just got out of a relationship that I didn't want to end. This was the first real relationship I've had and it lasted 3 years. I'm 26 now and thought we would be together forever. We have had some intimacy problems and a big problem is that I never saw a doctor. I've tried to win her back and fix problems we have had. I've been here looking for advice and seeing what I've done wrong. I know there has been a few things. Communication is the main fault, but that is a fault for both of us. I love her very much and would like to work out our issues, but she keeps saying she doesn't know what she wants. I feel like she is keeping me around to fall back to. She wants to be friends and says she loves me and I still mean a lot to her. I don't know how to move on or if I should still try to get her back. Her main gripes about me are thins I'm working on. She says it's just too late. I wish she would have really told me what bothered her instead of just let it build up until she couldn't take it. I'm still working on some things and maybe that will just be for the future love of my life. I wasn't mean or abusive or anything like that. I just wasn't loving enough and show her how beautifull and sexy I feel she is. I guess we got too confortable and neither of us showed how much we cared for each other. That is assuming she cared for me as much as I do for her. One other thing that hurt her is I asked her to move in with me, but I didn't take the risk to askk her to marry me yet. She felt insulted that I didn't want to marry her which I would, but asked her to move in with me. I just wanted to make sure we could live together. I guess I screwed up, but how can I get her to work with me on making things like they were early on in our relationship. I want the passion back, but everytime I talk about getting back together we end up crying and in bad moods. I guess I thought just being nice, loving, and faithfull was enough and learning there is more to a realtionship, just maybee too late for this one. People can email me with comments or advice at wnitz@hotmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 4:25pm
Sweetheart, it's a good thing that you realize that you have improvements in yourself to make. Whether or not she comes back is not as important as the fact that you learned from your mistakes. You've become a better person because of the breakup. She invested all this time into making you better, and if she doesn't want you, some other honey will. Keep your head up. Love will find you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 5:01pm
I think you should give her some time off and let her figure out what she really wants. Everybody has problems in a relationship and honestly I don't see anything wrong with you asking her to move in before getting married, its thinking rationally. I know its hard and I recently broke up with my bf of 2 and a half years and I'm heartbroken. I tried getting back together, I even tried being friends...but he sais its over. There is only so much we can do... You can try and date other people, you never know, everything is a learing experience. Maybe you should stop trying to get her back and eventually she'll come back to you...and if she doesn't- her loss. Hope I gave you a different kind of perspective...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:19am
Hi my name is beautyeyes11@aol.com

I went through a similar situation. I know what your girl is going through...She wanted commitment but in reality...she got tired of waiting and finally is trying to move on. She still loves you but the lost is gone. I'm sorry...but she just isnt the one for you.