can i trust him?
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can i trust him?
| Fri, 07-09-2004 - 1:28pm |
last year i ended a serious long term relationship (5 years)and started dating again. i met a man who i am still currently seeing, and things have progressed to the point where i think he may propose very soon. he is 42, 16 years my senior, and never married. i've already confronted other issues of him checking out other women in my presence and the fact that he does a lot of reminiscing about his past bachelor years, which makes me feel like one of many. he says that he has enjoyed his life, he wants to share everything with me and that he's never come close to making a commitment with anyone else but me. the problem is, i recently discovered (2 weeks ago) that while he was seeing me last summer, he spent several weekends w/his ex girlfriend who lives in another state. i knew that he also had just come out of a long term relationship, but as he explained it to me, things were over between them. all of these issues have compounded with the recent discovery and killed my personal confidence and trust in our relationship. i feel like a crazy lady. when i confronted him recently about my discovery, he tried to rationalize by saying that because we were not bf/gf then that we should not be affected now, and that he needed to find out for sure if i was right for him/if things were really over b/t them, etc. he said he'd take it back if he could, but he feels those actions lead him to the right place, which is with me. i'm hurt and confused. he lied to me about those weekends he was away and now i feel that our relationship is based on lies. he also admitted to me that she did not know about me. for some reason, he thinks that his actions weren't completely dishonest just because i wasn't his official girlfriend. prior to finding out about this things have been wonderful. we have done a lot of traveling, talked about our future, kids, marriage, everything. in fact, we are scheduled to leave for a 3 week trip to europe in 12 days (a birthday present from him), and due to comments he's made for the past few weeeks and weird hints, i really feel that a proposal may be immediately around the corner. he's excited for europe, and i'm worried about how he'll act when we get to the topless beaches in france. all of a sudden he's now classified as a womanizer in my mind. prior to learning about his "ex fling" i would have said yes to spending my life with him, but now i'm so angry and confused i can barely stand to be in his presence. i feel i can't trust him at all and i feel like such a fool!!! please help!!
Signatures On
| Fri, 07-09-2004 - 5:00pm |
My goodness, you are so much younger than him. I feel that you really believe he's your Mr. Right but now you are unsure. Have you ever asked yourself or him why he's never been married? He's 42 years old. This situation with him cheating on you while he was out of state is something that only you and he could fix. It's going to take a whole lot of convincing and actions on his part to prove to you that you can trust him again. I would definitely put my foot down right now about him looking at other women before you do get married. I hope all works out for you.
