Can men change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Can men change?
5
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 5:28pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 6:27pm

"Can someone who has done so much wrong, really change their ways?"
For what you need to concern yourself with, no.

"And how can I overlook the fact that he was never truly the person I thought he was to begin with?"
You can't, and you shouldn't.

Classic "but I love him" syndrome. Take a stand for women in your position everywhere, and walk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 7:06pm

>>"it took another 5 months and threaten to walk out of his life before he did and realized that he was actually hurting me each day by this."<<

Do you really believe this? You think that it takes a person, who purportedly cares about you, FIVE MONTHS to realize he was "actually hurting" you with his actions? If he's not had a lobotomy, then this is completely ridiculous. It doesn't take anyone five months to straighten up and realize they're hurting someone they love.

How can you be happy snooping around on your boyfriend all the time? How can you be happy with him knowing your family despises him and if you were to get married, this would persist for the rest of your life? You family loves you unconditionally and only wants what's best for you. If they feel that strongly about a person, it's for a--and probably MANY a--reason.

Yes, people can change. But my honest opinion is that he's just gotten better at hiding his indiscretions rather than ending them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 1:26am

Welcome to the board jdbettyboop,


Anyone can change should they decide they want a change for themselves. If they are changing for another person, it's usually not long term.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 5:02am

People do change.what matters is how genuine is the will/reason to change.everyone makes mistakes and deserve a second chance.One time mistake doesnt make the person ( man or woman ) a culprit forever.If he is trying, would you not like to give him a chance than you realising after 6 months , just like him ' if i had given him one more chance'?

Though much easier said than done.

"Can someone who has done so much wrong, really change their ways? " Yes, they can.Sometimes people do realize later what they have lost and do try to get their love back.If they get it, all goes well but if not, life becomes a punishment( if the change and realization was real).How real is this change ,that you have to figure out.I do agree though that he could just be pretending to have got a change just to get you back for an ego boost and then play his way again :-(

What kind of a person are you ? I mean if you are a naturally forgiving person with a softy heart , you will give him a chance but if you are like me, nothing in the world could change my decision.Thats what life's lessons are!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 2:45pm

I found out two years ago that my husband was very much like your boyfriend. The whole