Can men really change their ways?
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|Fri, 08-03-2012 - 5:47am|
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, although we've had some pretty rocky times. He has a terrible temper (he's never physically abusive, but has been what I would call emotionally abusive) and is just not as involved with myself and my son (from a previous relationship) as I would like. He works and takes classes, so I get that he is very busy, but I don't feel like he makes the time for us unless it's convenient for him. We've had issues with him lying, too. And not just little white lies, big lies.
We've worked through a lot of things, but some of those big issues are still there. We fight about them, make up and sweep them under the rug until the next fight. It's finally gotten to a point where I can't take it anymore. I said we either need to deal with these issues once and for all or break up.
Of course now he is promising to fix everything. He says he'll start walking away when he's mad instead of lashing out, make more of an effort to be there for myself and my son, and be totally honest with me about everything. My response? I've heard it all before. Several times, actually. Except now he's elaborated a little more as to how he'll make the changes.
My concern is that things will be great for 2 months (as is usually the case) and then he'll go back to his usual ways. I worry that a person is who they are and he might be very unhappy if he has to go outside of his comfort zone to make me happy. He says he won't, but that is definitely another concern.
I just don't know what to do. I'm having a hard time believing him this time, but what do you think--can men actually change their ways and does it stick?