can not satify anyway I go and notsexual
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can not satify anyway I go and notsexual
| Wed, 04-23-2008 - 10:57am |
How do you make someone happy that no matter how you try he always finds something to complain about.

1) Are you trying to give things to them that they WANT? Or are you trying to show affection and care in ways that are relevant to you but they do not understand? It's important that when you're trying, you are able to speak someone else's "language" other than your own or they will never understand or appreciate it.
2) At a certain point it's not worth it to keep trying when you don't get anything back. If you are not getting appreciation or a return gesture, then the answer is NOT to keep giving more. It's to stop giving.
3) I wonder what this man's relationship is to you? Husband, boyfriend? What is his commitment to you? What does he complain about? Can you be more specific? Have you tried counseling?
answer to #1-My daughter just had a baby and she has been released from the doc to go back to work and just talked to both of them, her boyfriend who gets a job and gets a little pist off at it and quits and does not care that he has a family to support. I am sure he is thinking Mom will take care of us. I have made it comfortable for them to live with us and they have gotten really lazy and now that I am doing tough love I am still the bad guy. I can not win. I dont care that they live with me till they can get on their feet but they have to try and that is what I just pushed on to them. Get off your buts and go get jobs and keep the damn job and if your not happy there then fine on your days off go find another one. but it hurts because I have never had support from my family and I dont want them to think I am not there for them and really feel like hell for sending them that email.
answer to #3. He is just my boyfriend but we have been together for almost 9 years, May 14th it will be 9 years. It has always been this way between it and it has felt like
You will never be happy until you are happy with yourself. Love and respect yourself first and you will get love and respect. As long as you put yourself last, you will be last.
Stay with the tough love with your children they might not like it at first but they will eventually respect your decision, it is time for them to grow up. Don't do this in an email, sit them down tell them what your conditions are and stick with it. They know you care for them, they might get pissy for a little while but they will get over it... and will appreciate it later on.
You have been with this man for 9 years and nothing is changing, you still fight about the same thing, he is not only dis respecting you but also your children...That would not work for me....BUT you are letting this continue, he can't do this to you unless you let him.
You need to talk with him in a calm manner tell him what your expectations are with both sets of children and see if you can come to an agreement...if not or things don't change....get rid of him. Start putting yourself first, it is hard at first but it does get better...life is too short to go through it miserable. Good luck
Welcome to the board paulssweety,
Is counseling an option?
You can never make anyone else happy. That is an illusion. Each person must know how to make themselves happy, be grateful and appreciative for their lives. Just stop trying to make him happy. Be yourself. Do what feels right to you. If he gets mad because you take care of your kids, that is his problem. It sounds as though he needs psychological help to understand why he is so bitter, critical and jealous. Don't make his problem yours. If he has too much of an anger problem, then you may well need some help on dealing with the situation and understanding what you are doing in this relationship and how to make a healthy choice for your life.
Best wishes,
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