Can a relationship be rebuilt???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Can a relationship be rebuilt???
7
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 7:34pm

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:26pm

Well what your boyfriend is going through right now is what I'm going through with my boyfriend. I didnt want him drinking I didnt want him with his friends. Basically we were together 24-7 and I wasn't allowed to do anything either. Hun you just need to let him know every second of the day you love him let him know you messed up what he was feeling was that you wanted to be with your friends instead of him. But really you just needed some girl time. Trust is key to a relationship work on that first and also lying to your b.f. will solve nothing ALWAYS tell the truth cause if he really loves you, it doesn't matter what you say he'll love you no matter what....

"To be trusted is a greater compliment then being loved."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:38pm
Thank you but is it possible to rebuild that trust.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 9:34pm

I'm sorry but you're not in a relationship anymore and this guy has told you flat out that he doesn't see you in his future.

You can love someone and still not be right for them - love alone does not make two people have a future together. You have to have his desire for a future with you, or you really don't have anything. Love is just a feeling, unknowninky, and you're selling yourself short if you beg for someone who doesn't really want to be with you.

Not wanting a future with you is NOT something you can ever change, no matter how much convincing or manipulating or promising you do. Don't you deserve someone who wants you in his life for a long time? I think you do. But the thought of being without him right now is making you so lonely and desperate that you are willing to accept even a dead-end relationship. Sorry... but you don't have a relationship. It's over. You need to let it go and move on so that you don't waste time finding the right guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 4:44am

He says he still loves me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 7:04am
Did you not read my response? You can love someone and not want a relationship with them. He's not in a relationship with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 7:53am
I have a hard time accepting this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 10:13am
I think you understand your own situation quite clearly... You can do what you want to convince him that it won't be the same (and hopefully you are right) - but he has to be willing to accept that and take the risk of going back into a relationship with you. The best you can do is to do whatever you need, and then leave the door open for him to come back if he decides to.