Can trust be rebuild?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Can trust be rebuild?
2
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 2:14pm
I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND OF 3 YEARS ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO, BECAUSE I THINK HE NEEDS TO GET HISSELF TOGETHER (MEANING JOB AND DRUGS ETC.)SO SINCE THEN HE HAS BEEN HARRASSING ME TO TAKE HIM BACK AND I SAID NO EVERY TIME, SO LAST WEEK i TOTALLY WENT OFF (LIKE ANY OTHER TIME) i TOLD HIM " THAT I AM DATING OTHER PEOPLE AND TO MOVE ON BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME ETC.,SO ABOUT 3 DAYS AFTER THAT HE CALLED AND SAID THAT HE HAD A JOB, I SAID CONGRATULATIONS. SO NOW THAT HE HAS A JOB (WHICH HAS ONLY BEEN A WEEK )HE THINKS THAT I SHOULD JUST RUSH BACK INTO MESSING WITH HIM, AND I TOLD HIM THAT IT'S NOT THAT EASY BECAUSE HE HAS MESSED UP THE TRUST SO BAD THAT I CAN'T JUST RUSH INTO IT LIKE THAT (ALSO I'M DATING OTHER PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH I STILL LOVE HIM)i WANT TO TAKE MY TIME TO SEE IF THIS IS SOMTHING I REALLY WANT TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS AGAIN, I TOLD HIM ONLY TIME WILL TELL ,AND I ALSO TOLD HIM THAT ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS (BECAUSE HE MADE A WHOLE LOT OF BROKEN PROMISES. I WANT TO LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN AND SOMETIMES I WONDER IF IT'S EVEN WORTH IT (I'VE SEEN THIS MAN AT HIS BEST AND WORST). ANY ADVICE PLEASE HELP
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 6:01pm
Why do you feel you deserve better? I dont believe trust can be rebuilt especially after its been broken. For example = cheating. Aint no way i can ever trust a female after she's cheated on me. For some reason though, i notice women are attracted to men like this and always in someway go back to him. Too me, once an x always an x! They are x's for a reason, and should stay that way. It's apparent that you still have feelings for him, after dumping him 4 months ago, or you wouldnt be posting this?

I dumped my x slut 4 months ago after 8 months, after i caught her with another guy. I have cut off all contact with her completely and have been dating women since

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 8:02pm
You have posted many times about this guy, his drug habit, the fact that he stole from you and lied to you, stalked you and accused you of cheating on him.

Now it is time to work on you. You need to figure out why you forgave him so many times and why you think you deserve this treatment. Breaking up with him is just the first step.

Get yourself into counseling!