can't get help so i'll try this board :(
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can't get help so i'll try this board :(
| Sat, 04-19-2008 - 10:52am |
I'm married 22 years.. we are in our mid 40s. I just don't know what is going on w/me but i'm feeling really undesired by my dh and unwanted. When we have sex it's good but i sometimes feel that he needs visual stimulation to get in the mood sometimes. like i know that he sometimes looks at porn on line and it seems like it's those times that he's looking to be w/me or if we go to a strip club or swinger's club....i addressed this w/him..i told him i was feeling unattached and undesired by him. i told him i know he looks at porn and other women. his response was that he is a man. he does like to "look" at beautiful bodies..i stopped him there and said and that hurts me because i don't think i have a beautiful body..i had two children and have horrible streach marks on my stomach and am over weight...he said he loves my body...everybodys body is different and he loves mine the way it is. he continued that sometimes he likes to look but has ABSOLUTELY no desire to be with anyone else but me. we also own a busness and he has several female workers...well, yes, sometimes i get sarcastic about a few things for example....he called me at work and asked if i could find a replacement for me that night cuz he wanted to go for a bike ride. so he called the business and the manager, a female found a replacement but when spoke w/her later, she was all giddy and stuff and was like, oh, he was so cute, he was saying that he didn't want to go on the bike or to the bar alone....blah blah so a little later(after he spoke w/me) he called back and asked if I could find you a replacement....so i called him and asked if he stopped at work before the called me...he had to think about it and said, oh, yea why? and i said well, the manager was saying how you were whinning abount not wanting to go to the bar yourself and stuff....he got mad at me and said i had to stop picking on little things he has enough stress and that he doesn't like to be at the business when i'm there cuz he senses the tension and i watch he every move when he is around the females. another quick example is that i was there the one day and the one girl said oh, you dh was mad cuz I gave the manager the free case of coors light i won and he was like...i drink that too...so she said she would give him the next case...so in conversation i said, "oh, i hear you are owned a case of coors?" and he got mad, said i was being sarcastic and letting all these little things bother me. Well it does...so i just spoke w/him now and he sensed something was wrong and asked me what? so i said that last night i felt unattached....i know he was looking at porn and he went to bed naked and probably if i woke him, we would have but i didn't cuz i just felt not wanted....i know it's an issue of wanting his attention /jelousey and i told him this that everyone else has his attention except me......he said i need to address my issues and maybe if i stop giving him a hard time things would be different but until that time, he has a hard time talking to me about things cuz he thinks i would ask him a ton of questions. any any any advice would be great...sorry so long

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Hi and welcome to the board! I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but I wanted to provide you with another couple of boards that might help you, too:
Stephanie
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