Can't seem to get along w/other women
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| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 12:36pm |
I don't know why, but all my life I've never been able to get along with other women. I'm a very outgoing person, but my close friends have told me that's only true once you get to know me. Otherwise, I have this shell that's impossible to crack. So, I'm reserved and private, but that doesn't explain why I don't get along with other girls.
I come from a very suburban lifestyle. I don't have any weird, horror stories of events in my childhood that shaped who I am today. I'm a graduate student, who works part time, lives on her own, and I've had a boyfriend for the past three years. Honestly, my record is clean and I cannot think of one thing that would make me so incompatible with other ladies.
The thing is, I CAN meet other women. I'm very good at meeting and getting to know girls on the superficial, surface level. It's after that initial greeting that I stall and can't seem to get back in gear. I just don't know what to say next so I guess you could say I have trouble talking to women. I don't know how to build the relationship and move it on to the next level. I can chat someone up in the bathroom about clothes, makeup, and boys but after that, I draw a blank. I feel like women don't understand me.
This is very weird to me because I come from a very maternal family. I have two sisters and 7 aunts on my mom's side of the family. I grew up in a very nutured and maternal manner. I have no problem getting along with them but I can't seem to draw other women in. My boyfriend has noticed this and believes it's my reservations that cause such a blockage of potential friendships. Apparently, women are more drawn to open people.
I do have the capability to be a wonderful friend. My best friends will testify to that. I have one girlfriend whom I'm close to and that's only because we've been friends since we were 9 and she's like a sister to me.
I wish I could fix this because I would love to build a relationship with my boyfriend's mother and sister. When I'm around them, I'm unbelievably quiet because I have nothing to say. I try to make myself available to his sister but all attempts seem really superficial on my part and she's an intelligent girl so I think she senses that.
What can I do to enrich my relationships with other women?

Try the same thing with other ladies you meet. However, I find that once you reach adulthood, it's difficult to make friends with someone that you're simply chatting with in the ladies' room one time. It would have to be someone you speak to frequently on more than one occasion.