CASE OF THE EX

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
CASE OF THE EX
4
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 2:28am
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months now and i have never been so happy. Although our relationship started badly its been going really good. For you to get an understanding of my position now, i better tell you how it all started.....Well i met my man through my old room mate. We both were seeing other people when we met. There was an instant connection between us but i believed there was no chance. Several weeks later, i broke it off with my boyfriend at the time, then to find out he had done the same. So i invited him to my birthday and we got together that night. We both decided that we should take it slow as we had just came out of relationships. Now my current problem is now the ex wants him back. She believes i stole him, i did nothing of the sort. Now she wants to steal him back. (real mature) Anyway he is set on still being friends with her, which i have absolutley no problem with. It just is he cant be honest with me. Both about when he has contact with her and how he feels about her now. The only time we are unhappy is when she comes into the picture. She's really trying to get him back. At a party the other weekend she was all over him, in front of me she threw her arms around his neck and whispered something into his ear. I'm not normally a jealous person but ever since that incident i haven't been able to stop thinking about the situation. Worst thing is its not easy to talk to him about it. He still cares for her, i know that but how do i find out if he cares for her more than me? Should i stay with him and just wait until she a) gets him to take her back or b) she get the picture??? What would you do if you b/f had an ex like this? I believe whats good for he goose is good for the ganeder and i know for a fact that if the roles were reversed he'd feel the same way i do! How do i talk to him about it with out making him think i'm jealous of her? Please someone........give me some advice.......any advice.......i really need it. I can feel my heart physically hurting. How do i stop the pain??
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
In reply to: venus85
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 3:56am
Ex's always try to run back into the picture especially because they want what they just can't have. Either that or she just realized how much she misses him and can't stand him with someone else. Its been 5 months and if your both truly in love and he does love you he will stick with you. He just needs to be honest with himself and how he truly feels about you. If he does want to be with his ex he would of already been back with her. If he hasn't realized already how great you are by now then forget him. If he stays with you I think you should try to show him how much more your better than she is. Make him see how his decision to be with you is the best he decision he has made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: venus85
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 1:38pm

You are upset by their frienship. Otherwise, the volume,length and reAsoning behind th ecalls, etc. wouldnt be an issue. Thats why I dont understand why they say that their BF/GF ex's freindship doenst bother them, when really, it drives them crazy!!


Im not saying your wrong or right, I would peobably feel the same way, but i wuld make it known to him ezcatley what your expectaions are.....and expect for him to tell you his. If he expects you to be considerate of their freindship, thats fine....but he needs to eb considerate of you, and letting her know the ground rules.i.e, no hugging, whispering- whatever.


If you expect this to last, communication is key.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: venus85
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 5:30pm
::She's really trying to get him back. At a party the other weekend she was all over him, in front of me she threw her arms around his neck and whispered something into his ear.

He loves the attention! Personally, I would take myself out of the equation and tell him that when he's really done with her and wants a real relationship, then and only then call me. But I'd be inclined to have nothing to do with him.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: venus85
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 5:38pm
'he cant be honest with me. '

Then you need to decide how long you are willing to date a dishonest man who can't or who has no interest in letting his ex go. He enjoys her attention. He doesn't mind upsetting you. This has to end.