There is more going on with this coworker than he is telling you about. I am not going to say it is a physical affair but there is more going on. The fact that he puts his cell phone on vibrant and goes to the bathroom to use it is not good. It is very telling that he knows what he is doing is wrong and that he wants to hide it from you. I don't think you need to apologize.
You've got to get to the bottom of his relationship with her because it's driving you crazy. Obviously you don't trust him, and that itself is also a problem. Put it straight to him, ask him what's going on? Discuss it openly. If you don't feel as though you can believe or trust him with his answers, then you have to deal with that. Clearly, you are trying to monitor his behavior by him leaving his cell phone around, but you can't monitor him all the time and besides this is a terrible way to live. What do you need from him in order to develop trust? Let him know what it is. Work on being able to bring back the trust. If you can't do it, then the very foundation of your relationship is at risk.
Welcome to the board tlizana,
Sounds like he's not going to come clean with you.
Welcome to the board tlizana,
There is more going on with this coworker than he is telling you about. I am not going to say it is a physical affair but there is more going on. The fact that he puts his cell phone on vibrant and goes to the bathroom to use it is not good. It is very telling that he knows what he is doing is wrong and that he wants to hide it from you. I don't think you need to apologize.
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You've got to get to the bottom of his relationship with her because it's driving you crazy. Obviously you don't trust him, and that itself is also a problem. Put it straight to him, ask him what's going on? Discuss it openly. If you don't feel as though you can believe or trust him with his answers, then you have to deal with that. Clearly, you are trying to monitor his behavior by him leaving his cell phone around, but you can't monitor him all the time and besides this is a terrible way to live. What do you need from him in order to develop trust? Let him know what it is. Work on being able to bring back the trust. If you can't do it, then the very foundation of your relationship is at risk.
Best wishes,
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