changing relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
changing relationship
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 1:10pm
First let me say that I am new to the group. I joined because I am confused and don't know where to get help. For any help I would be greatful. I have been with the man I live with for about a year. When we first got together things were dreamy as I guess they are in most begining relationships. I guess this is a very complex issue. First let me say that he is a cross dresser. He says he is half female and half male. I didn't know this when we first got together and by the time that he told me I thought that I loved him and could accept this. For the most part I am okay with it except I miss having a male around that meets my needs. I mostly let him do his thing and I do mine. We seem to fight more and more. I want more of a normal life lately and he is content with the way things have always been. It has bothered me more and more and I haven't said anything untill now. He says that I have become "prudish". He wants me to accept him on his female side and treat him the same and I can't do this. I don't have a problem with lesbians but I am not one and when he asks this of me it makes me feel that way. I care about him a great deal and don't know what my life would be like without him. We are more companions than anything else lately. We have tried to work on the relationship but it seem that on a daily basis there is an "issue" that comes up for either him or I. At times I think he is sneaky about chatting and using the webcam, not to be unfaithful with other women though. I have stayed home for this year that we have been together and am now looking for a job and that makes him insecure. I am at my whits end and feel lost most of the time and do not know what to do. I would love to hear any advice. I don't have any friends or family that I could discuss this with and don't know what to do. There are more problems in the relationship but I feel this is the biggest one. I guess my question in all this is do I stay or go?? I have tried hard to decide if I love him enough to accept what is and I can't seem to find an answer.