Cheated on the night our baby was born

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
Cheated on the night our baby was born
2
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 1:06pm
I just found out my husband was cheating on me the last two months of my pregnancy. Better yet after his daughter was born he went to the bar, then to the hotel with the other women. He says that the affiar is over and that he wants to work on keeping our family together. One of my problems is I feel he did this because I wasn't good enough or because I was fat and pregnant. Now I don't think I can let him touch me in bed because I feel he will always be thinking about how nice her body was and how I have stretch marks and well you know all the stuff that come with having a baby. How can I think about working on the marriage if I can't even change my shirt infront of my husband?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 4:01pm
Oh honey, this situation has to be painful for you. *hugs* How wrong of him to do this to you and your daughter. What a schmuck!!!!! How did you find out about this all? Did the guilt get the better of him and did he confess? How willing is he to work on the marriage? Does he seem genuine or do you believe he could fall back into cheating again? Has he told you why he cheated?

My recommendation is #1 marriage counseling. #2 Individual therapy for yourself to work on your self esteem issues and to deal with the betrayal.

If this marriage is salvagable and you want to be able to move on from what he did to you, then counseling is the key and will probably be the only thing that can truly help the two of you out here.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 2:03am
I understand what you must be goin through after this realisation hit you....

oh baby!:-( the guy's a thorough schmuckkkk.....But now there is a child involved and you got to first find out how sincere he is in his desire to work on your marriage!! If he is genuine, u need to go in for counselling right away... On the other hand,if you think he is doin this only coz you found out about his affair and may relapse into his old ways as soon as another opportunity comes his way, you don't deserve this jerk honey...Either which ways, you need to go in for counselling to come to terms with the hurt and pain that you are goin thru and decide on a future course of action that will be in the best interests of both -you and your baby!!