cheating husband
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cheating husband
| Mon, 02-25-2008 - 3:28pm |
I need help in deciding what to do. I have discovered my husband has had an affair on me 10 years ago. We have been married for 19 years. We have four children. He has been looking at women and porn on computer since I found out in 2001. He ordered porn movies two times and watched them while I was pregnant and had three small children. He watched them at night after I went to bed. Back then he would sleep on couch or in recliner for weeks. Come to bed have sex with me and then the next couple of days he would be back on couch. I think he was having an affair with a girl at his work back then but I have just last year discovered this 2007. I think it happened from 1996 to 2000. Back then I knew there was signs but I guess I just ignored them because i had 3 children . ages 7,5, and newborn. I didn't discover porn until after my fourth child was born in 2001. I have a crazy marriage. Even now when I confront him about her all he will say is Ah"honey she didn't mean anything to me. He will not say yes , he had an affair with her. He has left me several times within the last four years and stay gone a day and call and want to come home. Or maybe over night then come home. All he tells me now is you knew about it back then why didn't you leave me then. He just beats around the bush about telling me. One time he said it's bad real bad. He just clams up and will not discuss anything about it. I am very frustrated. Even now,he looks at women and some strip pictures on computer and sleeps on couch for weeks at a time. He just does this out of blue we don't have to have a fight or anything. He never talks to me or trys to have a conversation. We drive for miles he never says anything or be out eating he might say a few words to kids but not much. As far as me hardly ever says anything except when he wants sex. He never has anything to do with kids. I need some input into this crazy mess!

Welcome to the board june2008,
Can you give me one reason why you want to stay in this marriage?
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Welcome to the board june2008,
The pain of betrayal is just a strong no matter how long ago it happened. The fact that he's unwilling to address it, heal it, work on the marriage etc, isn't a good sign.
Here's another iVillage resource:
Betrayed Spouses Support
::He never talks to me or trys to have a conversation. We drive for miles he never says anything or be out eating he might say a few words to kids but not much. As far as me hardly ever says anything except when he wants sex. He never has anything to do with kids.
All of that doesn't sound like a marriage to me.