clever and talks alot to twist my mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
clever and talks alot to twist my mind
17
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 1:21pm
When me and my wife talk about us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 3:34pm

Hi manoffaith,


It's easier to follow your situation if you reply and add to a previous post instead of adding new posts. Here's your previous posts so others can catch up on your situation:


should i stay or should i go?


A little too late, a little too far gone


At wit's end? What does she want from me


I'm cutting and pasting my previous response:


As nicely as possible, she wants YOU to make the decision and say it's over that way she can blame you for not waiting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:07pm

Simply put -

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:24pm

Welcome to the board chi_tea08,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 6:38pm

Thank you for the welcome itwinflame...like your name too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:21pm
Thanks to all for your input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:22pm
Thanks to all for your input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:41pm
She's doing the 'come here, go away' thing. My guess is she's conflicted.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 12:51pm

Your wife is having trantrums, as a child would, and manipulating everyone. This behavior cannot be allowed to continue. You are going to have to stand strong here and create boundaries and standards. You can't go by what she says or does, but by what "you" feel is right and healthy. You really need help in handling this chaotic and debilitating situation. Get yourself a good therapist. Some words of advice over the web can't begin to handle this situation. Clearly, your wife needs psychological help as well. I don't know if she will be willing right now to get some, but get yourself straight with this situation and you'll be able to handle it. When she starts acting out this way, I would take myself (and children, if they are present) and leave the situation. You don't have to be abused nor do they. Don't accept this behavior and stop allowing her shifting moods to run the show. It will not only affect your badly, but your children as well.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 12:12pm

My wife is hurtful emotionally and I was wondering what motivation or reasoning she would have to say things like 'are you afraid to lose your wife' and 'I deserve to have my own identity and life separate from you until you change and I must break you down, and that is why I refer to your past behaviors as the dealbreaker and you can earn it back'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 2:11pm

It is normal to seek and create meaning out of other's behavior, words etc, however, unless I am in her head, I have no clue to her motivations and reasoning.

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