COCAINE AND MY BOYFRIEND
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| Thu, 01-08-2004 - 1:38am |
After months of insisting that i HATE my boyfriends' one a weekend habit of doing coke while partying, tonight i brought it up thinking that we could possibly talk about it rationally seeing as when we've fought about it bofore i've been drunk and hes been drunk and probably high.
So we ended up fighting about it again tonight and he brought up a situation totally unrelatted that happened a few months back using it as his defense; saying that if he can over look it (i flirted with his cousin , innocently, but still it was wrong the way i did it)that i should have to 'deal with it'too and that its my problem not his. Eventually he gave in and promised that he wasnt going to do it again.
My problem is that i feel as though he resents me for having threatned leaving him and as a result he "gave in" . i didnt want him doing it, but i wanted him to stop because it bothered me so much, on his own meritt. i dont think that he understands the severity of he concequences of cocaine.
And for me it really bothers me, not only because it can do some serious damage but because it literally disgusts me and makes me nautious the mental picture of him doing a line.
~Was i wrong to have given him this ultimadum? Should i have accepted it unconditionally and let him make his own decision? And how dangerous is cocaine?
how would you feel if you were him?
*P L E A S E H E L P ! ! !*

Look, you can't make somebody stop doing drugs if that's what they want to do.. You have to decide what you can live with... Trying to control somebody's actions through the issuance of ultimatums is not a good way to go - and it rarely works, anyway.
Yes, you either need to accept that your boyfriend will make his own decision in terms of what he puts into his body, or you need to decide that this is a dealbreaker for you and you don't want to be involved with somebody with a regular cocaine habit.
Is it dangerous? It can be VERY dangerous - heart attacks, high blood pressure, damage to the nasal cavity, amongst other things. Will any of those things happen to your boyfriend - it depends how much of it he does on his 'party night'. If he's still doing lines at seven am, well, yes, then potentially it could be very dangerous - if he does a few lines over the course of an evening, then that's something different. But cocaine is a stimulant and stimulants can be very dangerous if they are abused.
This is a tough one. I wish you luck.
Peace - Pebbles
The fact is that the man you are with does cocaine. Are you willing to accept his cocaine use? If yes, then continue seeing the man and stop bringing it up. If no, then stop seeing him. You don't have to accept drug use in your life if you don't want to. There are plenty of people in the world who don't use drugs.
As for ultimatums in general, I don't like them. The whole "do this or I am gone" thing doesn't sit well with me. If there are things you can't accept in a relationship, then just end the relationship. I believe that you either have to accept people the way they are or not be involved with them. It is unfair to expect people to change to suit your needs or desires.