cold in a relationship
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cold in a relationship
| Mon, 03-29-2004 - 4:25pm |
I have been with this women for 8 months, I am in love with here but over the past month, she has slowly becoming colder toward me. Our sex life has almost stopped and every time i initiate fore play she imediatley brushes me away or makes up an excuse. We dont kiss anymore the hugs have stopped and when i approach her on this subject she says that there is nothing wrong and for me not to take it personally.

Something is wrong - tell her this - Not having sex after having sex is a reflection of problems in a relationship. Since I still want sex and you don't, can you tell me what's wrong with our relationship from your point-of-view?
Carrie
Just one more comment: If you're not spending a lot of quality time together doing non-sexual things, and you're trying to initiate sex every time you're together, maybe she's just worried that all you want is sex (and she's testing you to see how long you'll stick around if she doesn't comply). This is a tired old game. You and she need to COMMUNICATE about it. Sex shouldn't be used as a reward or punishment. That kind of thinking and game playing is not emotionally healthy, so if that's what she's doing, take it as a red flag.
Its hard not to take this to heart, considering you have deep feelings for her.I would let her know that you feel like something isnt right in the relationship and that you' d like to resolve it, if possible...Sometimes its just stress from the job, or other things that are totally unrelated to you, but unfortunatley, your the one that gets the wrath from it...Other times, it something far more complicated thats going on in the relationship.It is up to you to differentiate betwwen this and decide where to go from there.
Best wishes,
Sorry to have babbled on here. Just think it's kinda humorous (in a sad not-so-funny kinda way) that things get so screwed up. Sounds like your personality and mine would work out and my bf's and your gf's would work out. Why can't it work out like we want it, ya know?? I hope everything works out for ya. I hate to say it, but as another person said, there almost definitely is something wrong that she's not sharing. But, she might not be sharing it because she might not even know there is something wrong. Best wishes.
Pam
regards moose55
Maybe she is under a lot of stress lately.
And yes of course it is possible that she is losing interest and doesn't know how to tell you or possibly she is insecure and doesn't want to be alone.
It could also be that she is afraid she is investing in a relationship that won't be going anywhere (marriage). I think you should ask her what she wants in the future with you......not necessarily marriage, but is she in this for just a relationship, or is she looking to find someone to settle down with?
It's hard to give an exact answer to your problem as it could be a million things. You need to have a serious talk with her about this, but don't focus on the fact that she doesn't want to be intimate because that'll probably just make her defensive.
Good luck!
Attractive and you want sex. I couldn't thing of a better combination. Your husband is out of his mind!