Commitment fears - can it work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Commitment fears - can it work?
3
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 11:19am

So my boyfriend and I have only been going out for about 2 months - i know it's a short time - but I'm really in love with him. We have sex regularly, but we do spend a lot of time just visiting and talking too, so it's a balanced relationship. but I really wanted to tell him that i loved him - so I asked how he felt about saying "I love you" in a relationship. He got really tense and seemed like he didn't know what to say. so i offered "does it seem like too much commitment for you?" and he said "yeah. yeah it does. I.....(kind of spluttering)" then he paused and asked why I wanted to know. I told him because he was a very loveable person and I cared a lot about him. He really appreciated my way of handling it- said that he cares a lot about me too, and that he has a great time with me, loves to be with me, i'm very supportive and he appreciates that - but love and commitment are just something he's scared by, doesn't want. he's 33 - has a job, is close to his family, responsible guy. so what i'm wondering is this - does this relationship have potential? is there any chance that another few months down the line he MAY feel more like committing to me? or is he just not going to commit no matter how long we're together? I love him, I want to be with him. If that means waiting a while and it will pay off - so be it. But if I wait around hopefully, and he ends up just leaving my life eventually - my heart will really be broken.


Can this work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 12:13pm

Welcome to the board mirandahatblues,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 1:34pm

Yes. you're right. Thank you.


Did I completely screw up by even asking him? or could it be ok if I just leave it from this point on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 1:56pm
No I don't think you completely screwed up by asking him. It is always good to have conversions like this. Now you know him a little bit better. Which is a good thing. ;)

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